At First Sight
by AkaiitE
Summary: Samantha's life was chaos, nothing mattered anymore. With her mother gone, there was no reason to even bother any more, that is until some one walks through her door and helps her turn her life around, and gave her an ambition. Pre series for now RxR
1. Chapter 1: Black Hole

At First Sight

Chapter One: Black Hole

A black hole, a region in space that nothing, not even light can escape, was the only word I could think of. It seemed an odd way to describe myself, but it seemed somewhat fitting. Since the death of my mother, nothing seemed to matter anymore. All the light in my life seemed to have been sucked away in that moment. She had been the most important person in my life. We did everything together, we were inseparable, she was everything to me, and now, with her gone, so was everything else that mattered.

Yes, a black hole indeed. In the last 3 months, I had managed to lose the few friends I once had. None of them even looked me in the eye anymore. I could see why, I must have looked like an empty shell. Pain must have radiated from my very soul. Looking into my eyes must have been a painful experience for any one. It was the same looking into my Dad's eyes. Dark, empty, painful.

In the last 3 months, I had fallen so far behind in my studies, I might never catch up. I was 16, I had just started grade 11, and there was no way now that I'd be ready for exams. There was no way now I'd get into the medical school I wished so dearly to get into. But I wondered if that was really my dream anymore. I wondered if it would be painful doing something I knew my mother would have been proud of me for doing.

I was a black hole, maybe not by the literal sense, but everything seemed to disappear around me, into me, so I decided that the only word to describe my current state was black hole.

I sat under the starry sky, it was late October. As I exhaled, I could see my breath, a swirling cloud of mist. It intrigued me. Then I looked beyond it, and saw the millions of stars. Each a tiny pinprick of light in the night sky, each lighting up the evening a little bit more. I imagined all the worlds that must live among those stars. I smiled.

"Sam, come in now," I heard my father call from below. So, he'd found me, and here I thought that up here on the roof was one of the best places I could hide. I let out a long sigh, again watching in fascination at the swirling breath that escaped my lips.

I stood up slowly, and tenderly inched down the slight slope of the roof. As I reached the edge, I shot one last glance at the stars, and smiled again. There was something about the stars that I knew would one day be very important to me. Once back inside the warmth of our home, my dad sat me down at the kitchen table.

"Sam, next week I have a very important meeting at the Pentagon with some of the other Air Force Colonels," he explained. Of course, my dad was a very important Colonel in the US Air Force. My mother had always hated that he was in the Air Force, but always turned the other cheek. It was like her exception. She loved him too much to care about what he did for a living. But because in recent months he had become a very important man, he had been home less and less. Before my mother had died, he would just leave, but since then, he hadn't left, not once.

"So?" I asked, bitterly, crossing my arms.

"So, we are leaving tomorrow Sam. You and your brother are both coming. You have no choice in this matter," dad said in his military voice. It always seemed like an order was coming out of his mouth, weather he meant it or not. I raised my eyebrow slightly as if to say, yeah right. "Go pack!"

Another sigh and I stood up. Fine, I thought, I'll pack, I'll come, but I will not be pleasant about all of this. I thumped up the stairs and knocked open my bedroom door with my foot. My room was a disaster. Clothing was left where it had been taken off, papers cluttered my desk. I used to be organized and tidy, but it hurt to see things in order now.

The morning came, and there I was standing in front of our small Jeep with a base ball cap crammed on my head and a too big t-shirt. I was quickly tucked into the Jeep with a bagel in a napkin in my hand. I sat in the car, with my knees up to my chin and my feet on my over stuffed suitcase. If I had to go, I was going to be a brat about it. I nibbled at my bagel, but never really ate it.

Washington D.C was a 5 hour plane ride from the airport in Denver, which was an hour and a half drive from our house. I didn't complain once, but I didn't say a word either.

We finally arrived at our hotel in the late afternoon. My blonde hair had turned a shiny brown colour from the oil that had built up on my hair under the base ball cap. The bags under my eyes made it look like I had too black eyes. But none of that mattered, because I was going to hole myself up in the hotel room and watch as many movies as I wished, and order as much food as I deemed necessary.

It wasn't until three hours later that I severely regretted that choice. I kicked myself for not having a shower, and actually applying some of the copious amounts of make-up I brought with me. I felt like a fool when my father walked back into the hotel just before dinner with a young, handsome, second lieutenant at his side.

**A/N: okay, so I know that Sam is being really childish here. But in my head, she is probably in her rebellious stage because she pretty much hates and blames her father, and her mother is dead, so she might as well be a bitch. But, she will start snapping into her real character soon. EVERYTHING is about to change for little miss Samantha Carter**

**Disclaimer: I don't own SG-1**


	2. Chapter 2 One Thing

At First Sight

Chapter 2: One Thing

He had warm brown eyes, like chocolate and brown hair that was wild, and looked as if it would never be tamed. He had a smile that was to die for. He couldn't have been much more than twenty four years old. He stood, tall and proud, as anyone who had been in the army for long enough often did. He sent my heart racing. I could feel my face growing red as I realised that I was still dressed poorly, and looked as if I hadn't showered in days.

"Sam, this..." my dad started, but I rushed out of the room, into the bathroom, uttering only a small "eep".

As I slammed the door behind me, I slid down the wall, my heart racing, my breathing shallow. I listened carefully to what was happening outside of the bathroom.

"Your daughter?" the man asked.

"Yeah," my dad answered, I could hear the subtle disappointment in his voice.

"Is, is she alright?" he asked.

"She hasn't been right since her mother died," my dad answered. I heard someone sit on the edge of one of the beds, and the conversation changed to something that no longer interested me. I leaned my head against the wall, and tried to slow my heart beat and breathing.

"Sam, were going out for dinner, please hurry up!" my dad called.

"Okay," I answered. I stood up slowly, as I tried to work out how long it would take me to have a shower, make myself up, and put on clothing that was presentable. Deciding that I had enough time, I quickly pulled my sweater, t-shirt, and bra off in one swift motion, then shimmied out of my jeans. I turned the faucet in the bath tub and started the shower. Before the water had even reached the temperature I wanted, I jumped in, and started lathering my hair with the supplied shampoo. I was out of the shower in a matter of minutes. It probably hadn't been more than five.

I tied the towel around myself after drying off, and shaking my short blonde hair into submission. I pulled my toothbrush and my make-up out of the bag that I had thrown on the bathroom floor hours ago.

It had only been 8 and a half minutes when I stepped out of the bathroom, fully made-up, in my low-cut jeans that my father hated, and a blue top that scooped low. The small silver necklace my mother had given me for my birthday was around my neck. Granted, my hair stood up in all directions, but I personally thought it was hot, and that was why I had cut my hair short in the first place.

"Do I get to introduce you now?" my dad asked.

The man moved forwards, stuck out his hand, and in a deep, powerful voice told me "Second Lieutenant Jack O'Neill. That's with two l's. There's another O'Neil, but his name is only spelt with one l, and he doesn't have much of a sense of humour,"

"Samantha Carter," I stuttered as I shook his hand. He had a firm handshake that I knew must have impressed my dad. His hands were covered in calluses, I assumed from handling rifles, and probably a lot of other grunt work that the lower ranking officers tended to have to do. His fingernails were cut short and were much cleaner than I would have expected. It was only when I felt that he was trying to break the contact between us that I came back to reality.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," O'Neill replied when I finally gave him back his hand. My dad steered us out of the hotel room into the hall. "Your father told me that you're still in high school?"

"Yes, just starting grade 11," I answered.

"You don't look like the type that would voluntarily miss school for something lame like this," O'Neill mused.

"I had no choice," I answered, coldly, shooting a glare at my dad. O'Neill gave a soft "Ah" and left it at that. We walked silently down the hall to the elevator. Once inside the elevator, O'Neill was reflected all around me since the walls were coated in a gold coloured metal. With his shoulders held firmly square, his hands clasped behind his back, and a serious look on his face, it struck me again just how handsome he was. Blushing furiously, I ducked my head. Why was I so struck by this stranger? O'Neill seemed to be to most opposite existence in the universe to myself. He was sarcastic, he was unmotivated by learning, he was in the air force. And yet, I found myself strangely drawn to him.

I continued to watch him closely throughout dinner, to try and discover what it was that had me so enthralled. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't understand why I was captivated by the way he talked, the way he smiled. Maybe he was just something new to look at and that was what caught my attention.

And then, there it was, plain as day. It wasn't simply because he was something new. It wasn't simply his smile. It was everything about him. His very soul was what had me. He was a kind person, he never planned to hurt, he wasn't in the air force to fight, he was in the air force to protect, and to learn. He had said numerous times the thrill of flying got him every time. There was nothing he enjoyed more than that moment in the air, where his life hung in the balance of his slightest movement and the good people on the ground.

I realised there, it wasn't the air force I was so dead set against. It was my father.

**A/N: So here's my second chapter, sorry it's so late. I've been messing around with these ideas, and I'm not very happy with this chapter, but it had to be written. My writing seems kind of childish and lazy, but I was trying to get across the point that she was changing inside. She was no longer a bitter girl from the moment Jack walked through that door. She is very different at the end of the chapter then she was at the start. It was kind of hard to write a full 360 in the space of my very short chapters. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Gate SG-1 =(**


	3. Chapter 3: Three Hundred and Sixty

At First Sight

Chapter 3 – Three Hundred and Sixty Degrees

A black hole. Why did it matter what a black hole was anymore? My life was no longer a black hole. My life was closer to a star, something so full of life and light, and happiness, that it was the complete opposite. It was like a full circle. Three hundred and sixty degrees different from where I started, or where I ended up after my mother's death. True, I was still distraught about her death, but I realised that it wasn't worth wasting my life, just because hers was. My life had been given a whole new meaning that moment that Jack had walked into that hotel room.

"So..." I said searching for the words. "Uh, what exacaly am I supposed to call you? Second Lieutenant Jack O'Neill?"

"That's quite the mouthful isn't it," he laughed as I stumbled to get all the words out in the right order. "Why don't you just call me Jack. Most people do, unless I'm better than them, then they call me sir. And I'm better than most people," he laughed again. His laugh was infectious.

Over dinner, I had been told that Jack was living in Colorado, near us, and since he was so close, he had been chosen as one of my father's special ops team. My father had high hopes for Jack, constantly saying that if Jack hadn't been ordered on him by the Pentagon, and president, that he would have chosen him anyways. I could understand why. Even though Jack had dropped out of high school at the end of his last year, he had been a very brave and responsible solider ever since.

I saw more of Jack over the week that we were in Washington, but he was always very busy, and never really had time for a chat. He was always dressed very casually, in a flight suit or similar, never the stuck up uniform my father wore on every possible occasion. He always smiled warmly and bustled off to do something that I was sure my dad must have ordered him to do. Every night, he and the two other new members of my dad's Special Forces team would go out for dinner with us and talk about military things that used to bore me to tears. Now, I listened closely as they spoke of new rifles and other people that I knew nothing about.

Over the week, I spent lots of time in museums, absorbing as much as I could, and parks, and shopping until I was sure my dad's bank account was on fire. But as much time as I spent sightseeing, I doubled with trying to catch back up, and get ahead in school. I had realised that screwing up high school would get me nowhere in life.

It was the last day that we were in Washington, the sun was high in the sky, and I was happy to just sit out on the balcony that was attached to the room we were in and finish a lesson from my math book. I knew by now I was over 6 lessons ahead in all my subjects, but I'd already seen everything worth seeing in Washington, and spent enough money to keep the economy thriving for a few weeks, so I settled down with a pencil, my book, and a calculator.

I was starting the fourth question on the page, when someone opened the door to the room. I gave it no notice. I figured it was my dad, or my brother, so I continued to solve the complicated question that was trying to find out the different angles of a bunch of triangles all cramped inside a circle. If there hadn't been so many lines, it might have been a little simpler, but it was hard to decipher what went where.

"See, I knew you were one of those kids who couldn't put down their homework long enough to enjoy a beautiful day like this!" someone said somewhere close beside me. My heart stopped as I jumped about a foot in the air, and then my heart started beating rapidly. I turned slightly to see Jack standing beside me.

"Hello, sir," I said quickly, and sighed in relief.

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Jack?" he asked, laughing slightly at my reaction.

"Sorry, and how did you get in here anyways?"

"Your dad gave me the key to see if you were ready to go to the airport," he answered, holding the card key in his hand.

"Oh, yeah, just let me finish this question. Hey, you wouldn't happen to know how to calculate this angle here would you?" I asked.

Jack let out a laugh when he looked down at my work. "If I did, I wouldn't be doing grunt work for your dad," he mused. I raised an eyebrow in confusion. I knew he hadn't finished high school, but never once had he given me the impression that he wasn't smart. He noticed the look on my face. "It wasn't that I'm not smart, I'm just not very..." he paused, searching for the right word, "Motivated," he grimaced, then pointed to my homework, "You can finish that in the airport."

Between the two of us, it took only one load to get all the bags down stairs. I didn't tell him which was mine, but I knew he'd probably guessed by the size of it.

The flight home was uneventful, I finished the math I had started, somewhat satisfied by my progress, and tried to ignore Jack who was sitting in the seat next to me the whole way. When we arrived back in Denver, we drove Jack home; he lived in a nice little house on a large pond about an hour drive from the town we lived in. He smiled and waved as we drove off, and I wished that I would see him again. He was the reason my life had changed from chaos to dancing star.

**A/N: So there you go, I wrote two chapters for you (and hid under your deck) because I love you. (ah Up! The best movie ever!). Anyways, just so your aware, the next chapter will not be posted until I have AT LEAST 5 reviews. I haven't really been picky about I, but I do like so feed back, and im sorely lacking in the feed back department with this fic. Anyways, if your curious about that last sentence, it was something I came across today. It's something the German Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said: One must have chaos within oneself to give birth to a dancing star. I personally find it to be a powerful thing and I want to play around with this idea (if not in this fic, in other writings I do) It is also a fantastic song by Allan Bell, and it was based off this quote. Look it up if you can =)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate SG-1**


	4. Chapter 4: Time Flies

At First Sight

Chapter 4: Time Flies

Over the course of the next two years I learnt a lot. My grades soared above anything they'd ever been before, and my teachers were thrilled with my sudden and shocking turn around. They all accredited it to being surrounded by so much knowledge while in Washington, but I knew better than them. After finishing grade 11 at the local public school, I begged my father to let me attend the military academy nearby, the first shock of many, which he grudgingly allowed. He never wanted to see his daughter in the military. I graduated from my high school as the Valedictorian, with the highest marks, and promises into all the top schools. Medical school no longer held my interest, much to my father's demise, but instead I chose to study astrophysics, which baffled him more than anyone.

"But, with brains like your why waste them? Why not save lives?" he constantly asked. But I didn't think it was a waste of my brains. Going into medicine would have been a waste of my talents. In my last year of high school I discovered that I had an uncanny ability at physics. While many of my classmates struggled, I soared, passing the class with 100%. In fact I was the most well known student at the academy.

Over that time I saw Jack every now and then. As I grew up into a woman, he stayed the same. He was still my father's underling, but had since had two promotions and was Captain Jack O'Neill. Jack had become a very busy man and was globetrotting so often I wondered if he ever got to stay home for more than one night out of a month. Whenever he'd visit, which wasn't often at all, and usually only fleeting because he was dropping something off, he would say that he in no way regretted joining the military, he only wished he'd finished school so he wouldn't be forced to do this grunge work.

The last time I saw Jack was days before his 30th birthday. He had been summoned to my father, who told him he'd been given the weekend off, after one last assignment, and then he was being transferred.

Time flew faster than I had ever known it too in those two years. I could hardly believe that I was packing to go to university when it seemed like only months ago that I had met Jack and become a whole new person. It seemed to me that before my life had been Disorder, but anything was possible. From where I stood two years earlier, I could have become anything. I could have become I drug addict, I could have become a mediocre students who didn't really try, and end up at a dead end job; I could have been, frankly, anything. All it took was one little outside prod in one direction to give order to the chaos. That had been Jack. He was that one little idea, the one little change that had given order to everything and brought my life into precision. Although I was deeply sadden by Jack's departure, it hardly mattered anymore, because one day, the two of us would meet again, and I would show him. I would be exactly what he needed.

And Time flew faster still. Four years had passed in which I studied harder than I ever thought possible, but I was so happy. All the learning that I was doing, all the possibilities that existed simply perplexed me. I wished more than anything to understand it all. I had since joined the air force and realised that I was right in thinking it wasn't the air force I hated, but my father's love for it. But even there I wondered if I was really right for hating my father's love for it, because frankly I loved it too.

Before I knew it, there I was an Air Force Second Lieutenant with a BSc in Astrophysics, and I wanted more. Before I was able to sign up for more, I was shipped off for military training. After a few years of the training, I was sent off the Gulf War. That time was some of the most frightening and most thrilling of my life. I logged over 100 hours in enemy airspace and I understood what Jack had meant all those years ago when he had said that he enjoyed more than anything the thrill of having your life hang in the balance. My slightest movement could end up being fatal to myself of someone else. Nothing got you adrenaline pumping faster than that very thought. Over the course of that year, I fought, and flew, and I protected. When I was finally sent home I finished my Master's Degree in Astrophysics. Still by the end of that I found myself craving more.

Four years later, after many research papers, and many calculations, and a many more military hours, I was Dr Samantha Carter. PhD. However, I was most called Lieutenant Carter, since I had been promoted at the end of the war.

I didn't know if my father was proud of me, or scared for me. It seemed to me that we would be growing closer, since we now had so much in common. But I wondered if he was constantly afraid of losing me the same way he lost my mother.

**A/N: so here we go. Sorry these chapters are so short, I never realised. I try not to push myself, I just type until I find that there is nothing left to add in the chapters, but I often find that they only end up being about two pages. So worry not, I will edit these, after I get reviews on what to add, and hopefully I should start pushing 3000 words or more per chapter. **


	5. Chapter 5: Solitudes

At First Sight

Chapter 5: Solitudes

A bead of sweat was rolling down my face as I crouched in the bushes somewhere in a desert. That might have even been blood trickling down my face. The world around me was spinning faster and faster, but I knew if I let myself sleep to bring order, I might not wake up. I was in enemy territory, and by no means was this an official mission. But even as the world spun, heat radiated on me, I assumed from the now destroyed jet I'd been flying, and the taste of gun powder and blood on my tongue told me there must have been fighting here not long ago. The sand I was lying on was burning hot, the heat seared my knees where I crouched on them. When the scene came into slightly sharper focus I could see I was in the desert, my jet was a good 30 feet to my left. In the far distance I could see a small village.

"Damn!" I swore, there was no one coming for me here. I wasn't even supposed to be here technically. The only people who knew I was here was Colonel Mckay, my direct superior after I'd been reassigned from Colonel Carter, the president, and the Joint Chiefs. I had been warned, don't get shot down, and here I was on the ground, shot right out of the sky. A sharp pain on the back of my skull gave reason to the spinning that refused to stop. I swept my head across the back of my head to find it wet and sticky. Blood. It might even be fractured.

Off in the distance I heard gun fire, I had to move or risk being found. As long as they couldn't find me, they would assume I was dead and leave it at that. Slowly, I crawled out from under the bush I'd been using as cover. Another wave of dizziness washed over me, but I ignored it. I had one thing in mind, get under cover, and fast. There was a problem however, out in this barren desert there was little cover. I shuffled across the desert floor until I was far away from the crash site. That was when my world went back.

It was much later when I woke up. The moon was mid sky and the air was chilly. I curled up in a ball and tried to ignore the pain in my head. Instead I filled my head with Sara.

I thought of my life thus far. After being unable to finish high school, I joined the Air Force. I had figured that I was a strong and smart person; I just wasn't cut out for a class room. I had no family to burden my conscience with guilt, so I joined only days after I turned eighteen. When anyone asked why I joined, I told them it wasn't for the fighting; it was for protecting my country, and the innocent people inside of it. For four long years I served as Sergeant, doing as I was told. Then I joined the Special Forces and was promoted to a Second Lieutenant. I was put under Colonel Carter's command and was sent globetrotting. For two years I served him and did many top secret missions that required some of the highest clearances. Then Colonel Carter was promoted Brigadier General, and moved on to bigger better things than me.

"Jack, I'm sorry. If I could have one thing, it would be to keep you with me where I'm going, but I can't," he told me. "Colonel Mckay is a fantastic man. He served with me a few years back. I trust him with my life, and I hope you will one day, too,"

Colonel Mckay was a rough man. He looked as if he'd fought a great many battles, and he was tough because of it. He sent me on far more missions than I would have liked, but I kept quiet and obeyed the man.

During those last few years with Colonel Mckay, I had continued to live in my small home near Dallas, however I was rarely there. On one of the very few occasions that I was home for more than a week, I managed to get out into a nearby town to do some shopping for some fresh food. I was rolling the shopping cart down an aisle, absent-mindedly looking at the objects on the shelf, as if hoping the things I needed would just jump out an bite me when, CRASH!

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" A woman cried. I shook myself back into awareness. I realised that I had collided with another shopping cart and sent the contents of both of them flying all across the aisle. There was a woman on her hands and knees scrambling to pick everything up. My stomach did a somersault. Her short blond hair fell across her face, she wore a blue blouse and a pair of jeans. She looked all too familiar.

"Don't be sorry ma'am," I told her, starting to pick some of the cans that had fallen off the selves. She looked up and me. My heart fell slightly as I realised it wasn't the person I was hoping it would be, but then she smiled. I don't know what came over me, but I asked her if she was busy later that night. Her name was Sara, she was a beautiful woman, and smart too. She reminded me of someone I had once known, but I couldn't put my finger on it. She was kind and had a soft laugh that made my heart flutter.

I took her to a small restaurant that night. We got to talking, and she told me all about her simple job as a Real Estate Agent. She looked at me in disbelief when all I could tell her about myself was "I'm an Air Force Captain," I wished I could have told her more. All the secrecy, however, didn't seem to faze her. I would leave for weeks on end, and she would be waiting with a smile when I returned.

I'd only known her for less than a year when we got married. She was everything I could possibly ask for. She was kind, simple, and loving. For the first year or so she never once asked where my job was taking me. The first couple of times she asked how long I'd be, and as much as I wanted to tell her, I didn't even know.

We'd been married for about two years when we were blessed with a boy, Charlie. Since then, she had become a little more curious. She wanted me home more, but my job demanded that I was away, fighting, protecting. Often, she would ask, beg, to know where I was going but I could never tell her. It was like knives in my heart to see her face fall when I would have to leave, not knowing if I'd be back this time to see my son, my wife one more time.

Now, here I was, lying in some god forsaken desert, with a fractured skull in the middle of the night, praying that I wouldn't be discovered by anyone because it might jeopardize this mission, or my life. All I could think about was Sara, and Charlie. They were at the end of this very long tunnel. They are the reason to get out of this, alive.

I stood up, ignoring how dizzy I was from blood loss, and ran. I ran as fast as I could across the desert in the middle of the night. I prayed that before the sun rose I'd be able to find shelter somewhere, or hopefully reach a village. The sand under my feet made it difficult to run. Slipping and sliding around, I used more energy trying to keep moving than actually running. I kept the picture of Sara in my head.

When I could no longer run, and the sky was turning grey, I realised that I was still some distance from the village. I frantically looked for somewhere to hide for the day from the sun, and anyone else that might come along. Despite my lack of luck thus far on this mission, my luck turned slightly when I found a small shack. I crept inside and passed out again as soon as I sat down.

That day I dreamt of Sara, of her face, of her smile, of her laugh. Only it wasn't Sara, it was someone else that I knew from somewhere in my mind. She had short blonde hair like my Sara, pale skin like my Sara, blue eyes like my Sara, only not. That was the big difference. The eyes. This woman's eyes were much deeper than Sara's. Intelligence radiated from them.

"Samantha," I whispered.

For days I ran. The picture of Samantha fresh in my mind, and I pushed forward to see her. The pain in my head grew stronger and stronger. My head was still bleeding lightly; my hair was full of clumps of blood and sand. The wound on my head was filled with sand, it amazed me how it was still bleeding. That wasn't the only thing that amazed me. I realised as I was running that although I believe luck had abandoned me for me to be stuck in this unholy desert, it had in fact not. My only major injury was that to my head, otherwise all that afflicted me was a couple scrapes and bruises. I was still able to run, even if I found it difficult and after a few days I had to take longer breaks. It was also incredibly lucky that I had a full canteen of water when I had crashed.

I don't know how long it was until I finally passed out on the outskirts of some small village. I was starving and had finally run out of water. But, once again, luck was on my side. I was in a country with whom were allies. The villagers recognized my uniform (how, I have no idea because by that point it was most torn up). They cleaned me up a bit and the president was contacted swiftly.

I remembered most up until I passed out, the rest of the gaps had been filled in after I'd been air lifted out and brought back to America. From What I was told, I spent 6 days in the hospital recovering, and 9 days in Saudi Arabia. When they asked how I survived, how I made it to the village after being so gravely injured (turned out I did fracture my skull and had a sever concision), all I could say was, Sara. I smiled and couldn't wait to see her again.

Sara, however was fuming when I arrived back at home. I could understand why. I'd been gone for 15 days, and I came back grievously injured. She tore a strip off up one side and down the other, scolding me about my year old son who might never grow up to meet his father. She screamed and cried until her throat was raw, and continued on for a while after that. She prayed to know why I was sent on such dangerous missions that she could know nothing about. She told me that these last few years she'd been patient, but she couldn't handle it anymore.

"Sara," I said calmly once she'd stopped, "I am an Air Force Captain in the Special Forces. What I do is classified. There is more than half of the military that isn't even close to having enough clearance to even know that I'd been outside of the country, let alone what I was doing. You are a civilian. I couldn't tell you, even if I wanted to."

She opened and closed her mouth like a fish a few times, then stopped. She narrowed her eyes, and turned away. I knew that this was hardly the last I was going to hear of this, but I knew for now it would do.

**A/N: So here we have our chapter in Jack's POV. I think I'm going to write one more from Jack's perspective, then go back to Sam. I'm thinking about 2 – 3 more chapters before Jack and Sam meet again. Anyways, I'm still PRAYING for reviews here guys! It would make me OH SO HAPPY if I could have at least 5 before the next chapter is posted! If you read it, please review, even if you hated it! BTW, if I got a few points wrong (see episode S1E17 Solitudes) I'm sorry, I didn't have it on hand. I tried my best to keep it consistent, but probably failed miserably. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own STARGATE SG-1**


	6. Chapter 6: My Calling

At First Sight

Chapter 6: My Calling

**A/N: I lied. This one is in Sam's POV sorry =S**

"It's the Pentagon," my dad called a few seconds after picking up the phone. My dad had been visiting for the weekend since he hadn't seen me much in the last few years. However I was so busy that I hardly had time to see him. The phone had been ringing off the hook, and I had ignored the jarring sound for a reason I thought as I groaned quietly. They had been calling me non-stop for the past 6 weeks, asking me about all sorts of things, no two connecting in any way at all.

"Captain Carter, what do you know about worm holes," they would ask. And I would tell them the basics. The next day a far more complicated question about interstellar travel would pop up. Questions about hyperspace, and subspace, and superconductors.

"Tell them I'm not home!" I wanted to yell back, but I knew that they'd just keep trying, and eventually get mad.

"Okay!" I shouted to him. I had been doing a research paper about deep space telemetry for the Pentagon for the last 6 months. I highly doubted I would finish it at this rate however, what with all the phone calls I was receiving lately. I pushed piled of papers off my desk, I hated the clutter that was building up, but I could hardly help it. Some of the questions they'd been shooting at me had required I go back into some old data that I simply had not had the time to return to their proper places. Disorder made me crazy. I finally found the phone on my desk and picked it up.

"Captain Carter," I said professionally into the receiver. I heard a click that told me my dad had hung up the phone in the kitchen.

"Yes, good, Captain. Listen. There's no point hiding it from you anymore, and we need your help more than anyone else's," an exasperate voice said on the other end. It was Sergeant Siler, the man who I had mostly been speaking with over the last few weeks. "How soon can you get here?"

"Uhh," I said into the phone. I was confused beyond compare. They wanted me out at the Pentagon, now? What was so important that they needed me? Did this have something to do with all the questions they'd been asking me over the last month and a half? Then I thought of my father downstairs. I hadn't seen him in well over six months, and here I was locked in my study, trying to figure out how best to launch deep space radars. I figured that if I stayed, nothing would change. I would stay locked up here, but I would see him a little. If I went, I might discover something fantastic. I chewed on it for a second. Stay or go? Finally I decided.

"By this evening," I told Siler.

I could hear the smile in his voice as he replied "Thank GOD!"

I trundled down the stairs after I hung up the phone about five minutes later.

"Dad?" I called anxiously.

"Yea, Sam, I'm in here," I heard him call from the living room. The sound of the football game was filling the house. He was sitting on the one couch I had in my living room. I rarely had time to sit down and relax, but I figured it was good to keep up the facade that I had a life outside of work. I dwelled on that for a moment. What had happened to the reason why I even started working for the Pentagon. What was he doing now? Had I lost all chance with him?

I shook myself as I picked up the remote control off the coffee table. I pressed the power button and shut off the game.

"Aw, Sam?!" my dad cried. I never really saw him as the type to be concerned about a football game, but then again, I hardly knew my own father.

"Dad, that was the Pentagon," I told him.

"I know," he answered matter-of-factly, "I answered the phone for you."

"Well, they need me in Washington, ASAP," I quickly told him. I held my breath and watched his reaction. At first his face was blank as he took in what I was saying, then I saw his face fall slightly.

"So,"

"I have to leave today," I told him.

Less than three hours later I was packed and ready to go. A single suitcase filled with only one flight suit, a few changes of clothes, and hygienic products such as tooth paste. I figured if I was going to be in Washington for more than a few days I would be taken care of, or sent home to get more of my belongings to set up a more permanent quarters there. My dad was moodily throwing my luggage into the back of my car. He was going to stay at my house for a few days while I was away. I told him that he could come with me, he might even be able to help out with whatever it was they wanted me at the Pentagon for, but he bluntly refused. But that was my father. He was a very stubborn man. He did things his way, and only his way.

He drove me to the airport, where I was told an airman would be waiting for my arrival, and he would escort me to a private jet which would fly me quickly to the Pentagon. When we arrived at the Denver air port, it was packed. There was hardly any room to manoeuvre the car through the crowds of vehicles and people. My dad grumbled grumpily as he navigated through the traffic, and stopped outside the doors.

"See you around, Sam," was all he said before he drove off with my car, leaving me in the crowed airport with my small bag by my side. I must have looked like a fool, in my service dress in an airport with only a bag. I walked uncomfortably into the airport, trying not to direct any attention to myself, which was difficult because of my attire. The crowds however bustled past on their daily business. The ones who noticed me gave me a wide berth, as if thinking I was dangerous or perhaps that danger was within my vicinity. The ones who didn't notice me pushed past, knocking me around. One man hurried past so fast that my suitcase was actually knocked right out of my hand.

I looked around frantically for the airman that was supposed to meet me, but none caught my eye. Had I gone to the wrong air port? I panicked a bit.

"Captain Carter?" a curt voice said behind me. It was a young man. He was probably no more than 20 years old. He wore a flight suit. It surprised me that I hadn't noticed him earlier. He stood behind me, looking around to see if it was really me. It always made me a little self conscious when people of lower ranks addressed me. I didn't think I quite lived up to Captains I had had experience with in my past. When I turned around the airman snapped into attention.

"At ease," I said quickly. "You're the one who is taking me to the plane?" The airman nodded.

"Yes, Ma'am, Sergeant Anderson, reporting as requested,"

"Well, off we go then, I guess," I said. He nodded, then turned on his heel and marched through the crowds. I stayed as close on his tail as long as I could, but with the seer density of the crowds, it was hard not to lose sight of him occasionally.

The jet was empty except for Sergeant Anderson, the pilot, and myself. It was a nicely outfitted jet with about 6 seats in the back, each like fluffy armchairs.

The sun was setting when the plane landed in Washington. I was escorted from the plane to the white house. True, I had technically been under the employment of the white house since I had finished my PhD 2 years ago, but I'd only been inside the building a handful of times. The rest of the time I was at home doing the work they required of me.

It wasn't long before I was inside the building in a briefing room with 6 other people. A man who looked a few years older than me, with blonde hair and brown eyes, stood nervously at the front of the room holding a remote for the screen. The image on the screen was unlike anything I had ever seen in my life.

The great silver ring stood upright. Around the edges were numerous symbols unlike anything I'd ever seen before. It had nine; I didn't even know how to explain them. They were triangle shaped with a red patch on them; I could only guess what they might be for.

"What..."I stuttered, "What is that?"

"Well," the man said, "We have no idea, we were hoping you might be able to help us uncover that. "This device was found in Giza in 1928. It was discovered by Doctor Langford and his team." A black and white image popped up on the screen of the original findings. The ring was standing, held up by about 40 ropes. Another picture popped up of the over stones. "The cover stones had two rings of text. One in ancient Egyptian, which we were able to translate our selves, and another in an language we are un able to decipher. However the glyphs we found on the outer track match exactly to the glyphs on the device. From there, it was transported to America in 1939 to prevent it falling into Nazi hands. For a long time the device remained hidden. Then in 1969, something happened. Someone came across it and activated it. We don't know how. The young man was knocked unconscious before he could find out how it was done. It was immediately brought in for testing, they believed it to be a weapon of sorts. After ten years of study the idea was scraped, and it had been sitting for the last thirteen years untouched. It is made up of a quartz-like mineral unlike any we've seen here on earth," he explained.

"So why the renewed interest?" I asked.

"Because it activated it's self a few months ago. From what we understand, it appeared as though a great simmering body of water was suspended in the rings. Then images show a humanoid figure, dressed in armour and wore like a giant snake head, step through the device, look around, then reactivate the device, and leave," my eyes widened. How could this be. What was this device.

"What did the inner track say? On the cover stones?" I asked

"That it's a door way to the heavens," he answered.

What could possibly allow a person who clearly didn't belong here to suddenly be here? A million ideas flew into my head.

Over the next two years I struggled with the device. I induced that the device must create some form of wormhole that allowed travel to other planets. That would explain to times when the device had been activated. Why the people just disappeared, never to be heard of again. If that was true, the device must take enormous amounts of energy to function. We then discovered that the mineral the device was made up out of was a superconductor.

We deduced, that if the device created wormholes, it must need six of the glyphs on the outer rim as a address of sorts. No symbols worked. Although the device lit up like a light show, and smoked like crazy, making the world shake around us. Nothing ever happened. No pool of water appeared. I yelled at the device, I cried at it, I swore at it. Nothing seemed to work.

It was time to call in a linguist.

**A/N: So there you have it. The next chapter is in Jack's POV. I hope that's okay. Thanks for all the reviews for the last chapter. I hope I can count on that many this time as well =)**


	7. Chapter 7: Falling into Chaos

At First Sight

Chapter 7: Falling into Chaos

**A/N: This one is in Jack's POV =)**

Seven years had passed since the incident where I'd been lost in Saudi Arabia for 9 days, but the tensions between Sara and I had anything but faded with the memory. Since then, I'd been sent on countless missions, each as dangerous as the last. I could no more tell Sara the truth behind these missions than I could seven years ago. I could feel her anger every time I told her I was leaving again. Each time it grew worse and worse. She was like a rubber band, slowly stretching with each time I left. I feared the day she would snap. But she couldn't be completely angry. Over those Seven years I had been promoted twice. I now bore the rank of Colonel, which had a significantly higher salary than Captain.

Charlie had grown up to be a fantastic boy. At nine he was the happiest anyone could possibly hope for. He played any sport he could get his little hands on, but above all he adored baseball. He was not much unlike me. If there was anything that could hold his attention, he was all over it in a matter of seconds. He lived so fully. Always exploring, always trying something new. The best part was, someone actually looked up to me.

Gone were the days were Sara thought I was ruggedly handsome and waited with a smile for my return from a mission, although those had decreased since my promotion to Colonel, now I was usually the in charge of most of the missions. My job wasn't nearly as dangerous anymore. I was given far more weeks off.

That was the beauty of these next two weeks. That was why Sara smiled when ever I walked in the door. I was home for a full two weeks, no interruptions. Charlie and I were going to go play baseball every day, or go biking, we were going to have those father son moments that were supposed to happen more regularly than once every couple of months.

I had just gotten back from buying myself a new baseball mitt. Mine had finally given up. I jumped out of my car and ran to my wife's side. I loved her smile and since I was being greeted with one, a real one, I jumped on every moment.

"Where's Charlie?" I asked. Then my heart stopped as the sound that followed me everywhere, even my dreams, filled my ears. The sound that I knew was the last thing many men heard. The unmistakable bang of my personal fire arm surrounded me. "CHARLIE!"

I jumped up faster than a racehorse left the starting gate. My heart was no longer silent. It thumped wildly in my chest, faster and harder than I would have ever thought possible. In fact, it seemed only right that I should have a heart attack or that my brain explode. As I ran up the stairs to Charlie's bedroom, I skipped more than half of them, flying up the stairs like the jets I piloted. But, I didn't think that even those jets could have reached him fast enough.

I reached his door, and I crumbled. The sharp pain in my knees told me I had fallen, but it didn't matter. I was a broken man now. I saw the blood pooling out of the front of his skull where the bullet had penetrated. Just above his eye. He must have been looking down the barrel. He had been a smart boy, smart enough, I would think, not to take the safety off the gun. But then I remembered that I had never shown him my gun. Always afraid of this exact possibility. He must have been fiddling with it and the safety must have come off by accident. His brown eyes, identical to mine, were cold and empty. I'd seen that icy stare before, hundreds, thousands of times, but not once had it left my insides frozen quite like this.

Two weeks, I was given two weeks to get to know my own son, to be with my wife so we could save our failing marriage. Instead, those two weeks were wasted. Funeral plans were made. Tears came from Sara's eyes, which would no longer meet mine. My eyes stayed dry. I was beyond tears. Inside myself was like a great whirling tornado, except, everything inside of me was slowly disappearing, into a black hole where my heart used to be. Inside me was simply chaos.

I was dead inside, as if I had died along with Charlie. I stopped answering the phone. I stopped acknowledging Sara. I stopped caring about anything. I sat, day after day in Charlie's room, holding the gun, trying to decide if it was better if I stayed, or joined him.

Days turned to weeks. Weeks faded into months. I only became more and more withdrawn. Gone was the Jack O'Neill who once found flying so appealing. Gone was the Jack O'Neill who smiled and laughed so often. Gone was the Jack O'Neill who fell in love one too many times. Now I felt as if I could never love again.

Sara fared differently than me. While I sulked, blaming myself for my only son's fate, she grew angry. Her anger wasn't directed towards anything in particular, just everything. Her anger filled the house, which was why I left Charlie's room less and less.

Soon, the phone stopped ringing altogether. People stopped coming to the door. No more encouraging smiles in the supermarket. Everyone knew that we were long gone.

Seven months after Charlie's death, the phone started ringing again. For a week we got about 2 calls a day. The jarring sound didn't even register for me, and Sara screamed at whoever was on the other end whenever it would ring, and finally she unplugging all the phones in the house. Three days after Sara unplugged the phone, there was a knock at the door. I ignored it, but I heard Sara answer it, somewhat civilly.

A soft knock sounded at the door. I lifted my head slightly and slid the gun under Charlie's pillow. However, I made no other notice to the sound. I sat slouched over on the bed much like I had over the last seven months.

"Excuse me? Colonel O'Neill? We're from General Wes' office," I moved my head slightly to show the two men, clad in their service dress. "Sir? We're here to inform you you've been reactivated." They left a card beside me on the bed and with that, they left.

Must be important, I thought, that they reactivated me when I was so clearly not fit for service anymore. I was more likely to kill myself or someone around me because I was manic depressive than I was to do any good. But, said a quiet voice in my head that sounded so familiar, like that of the angle that got me through the Saudi Arabia desert all those years ago, it might do you good to have a change. If you die in the process, oh well, but it's better than sitting around here. But my marriage, I thought back. Your marriage was gone that day you came back from the desert, we both know it, the voice told me. I secretly agreed. I picked up the card beside me. I did need a change.

"First you don't even try to save us, now you're just going to go back to how it was? If you think I'm going to be here when you get back, Jack, you're sorely mistaken!" Sara yelled after me as I left out the front door 4 days later. The black cars idled in front of our house, waiting for me to leave the house. I ignored Sara's threats. They meant nothing to me now.

As I sat in the car, I was given a full briefing on what I was to become a part of. I was silent; I didn't ask any questions, not that any of it made any sense to me anyways. Why bother learning what this device was all about anyways? These men were saying themselves that it was a long shot the one man who could do the job would be able to, or even want to. This was probably just going to be a fool's errand, but since the device was top secret, only the highest security clearance allowed military personnel to know of its existence, they needed a ranking officer to take care of the archaeologist that was going to try to decipher the device.

"But," they warned, "If he figures it out, you will lead the mission team that goes through the device."

I nodded, pretending I understood what they meant, but really, the only thing I understood out of all the scientific notes and other nonsense, was that one name kept jumping out at me. Carter. I had been a Colonel Carter's underling years ago, but that hardly meant anything. Carter must be a relatively common name. Besides, the last I'd heard, his daughter wanted to be a doctor, not an astrophysicist. But still it nagged at the back of my mind for the rest of the drive to Cheyenne Mountain. When we arrived, I was quickly ushered down to the 28 floor of the complex.

"Is Jackson already here?" one of the Sergeants who had picked me up asked.

"He's been down there about an hour already," The Major who had been waiting my arrival answered.

"Won't it be funny if he can figure out what Captain Carter couldn't in 2 years?" the Sergeant laughed.

"You know, with looks like hers, I don't know why she chose this as a profession," the Major muttered, then the elevator fell silent. Carter. There it was again. Why did the name mean so much to me?

Daniel Jackson was nerdy man who was excitedly translating the Egyptian text on the black board that must have been wrong. He was utterly crushed when I told him that any information regard the device, Star Gate, was classified. He was only there to figure it out. He was to have nothing ot do with the Gate after he deciphered it, that was, if he could.

Shockingly, Daniel Jackson figured it out. Two weeks later he crammed everyone into the debriefing room with big pictures of the cover stones and star maps. Everyone mocked him, for what I was sure was not the first time in his life. From what I understood, he had plenty of farfetched theories about the great pyramids. But, when his what he discovered was proved true, everyone was ecstatic.

"Too bad Captain Carter isn't here to see this!" someone cried as we sent a probe through the shimmering light that filled up the Star Gate.

**A/N: Since I'm sure you've all seen the Star Gate movie, I will not recount the rest of the details of the mission to Abydos. However, I will make reference to it in the next chapter. I have yet to decide if it will be Sam's POV or Jack's. I might just make a really short chapter from Sam's POV. I'm not happy with how this chapter turned out, but, it's good enough I guess. Also, I realised that in chapter 5, I made reference to a Colonel Mckay. It was a name that popped into my head, and I realised afterwards that Mckay is also the name of Dr. Mckay, who is in Atlantis. I'm sorry. Please deal with it. Please review! I love hearing from you guys. Five reviews or no new chapters!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Gate! **


	8. Chapter 8: The First Mission

At First Sight:

Chapter 8: The First Mission

**A/N: This chapter will be a little interesting. I will split it half way between Jack's POV, and Sam's. Otherwise I would have to really short chapters randomly in the middle. Starting with Jack.**

"We've opened a doorway to a world we know nothing about," General Wes said as he stood behind me. "Judging by that creature, there could be something extremely dangerous on the other side of that wormhole. We need you to do something very important."

"Spare me the chit chat," I said, still looking at the fossilized creature in front of me.

"We need someone to blow up the gate on the other end should there be a threat to earth. We need to make sure it is destroyed," he told me, bluntly.

"That's why you want me, this is a suicide mission," I replied, nodding. I could have retired in misery. I could have spent every day of the rest of my life sitting in Charlie's room, thinking to myself. Just pull the trigger, and the pain will all be over. They knew that this mission would either be a cake walk, or suicide. Losing one man who would waste his life otherwise was better than losing the 5 or 6 men that went through the Star Gate. The General nodded, frowning slightly.

"I hate to do this to you Jack. You're a fantastic man. Never once have you failed. Come home Jack, unless there is no other option."

I nodded, then frowned as I thought of Jackson. I hated scientists. They were annoying, thought they were better than everyone else, assumed that I had no idea what I was doing. I knew I could expect much the same from Jackson. He probably would just get in the way on the other side of the Gate.

It was 2 days later that I stood outside the room where the Gate was held. Six soldiers stood ready, each was prepared to die to extend our knowledge of the universe. Or at least I hoped they were. If not, they were staying behind. I had no use for a man who wasn't ready to die for the mission.

When the doors open to the Gate room, the Gate was already active. The room glowed blue from the light that was given off by the water suspended within the great circle. I stood before it, it would normally have awed me, but now, there was no reason for me to feel awe, or anything for that matter. Now all that matter was the mission. I nodded, and one of my men directed the F.R.E.D loaded with supplies such as weapons and food. It drove slowly up to the gate, and I followed it. I watched as it got devoured by the water, then disappear completely. I held my gun tightly, and took that step that sent me through the gate.

The feeling was indescribable. I was cold, like I was running through a blizzard, naked, like I was performing stunt dives that made my stomach do back flips. Then as suddenly as it began, it was over. I rolled out of the Gate on the other side inside what appeared to be a temple of sorts. Before I could get my bearings, the other men started toppling out of the gate, and finally Jackson fell through.

"It's alright," I told him, "It's all over."

No sooner were the words out of my mouth, the Star Gate shut down. The room went dark, like a night where there is no moon. I quickly lit a flare so I could see, the other men copied me. We carefully secured the area, then moved outside. We were in a desert. It could have been that same desert that I'd once spent nine days lost in. That was, until I turned around. Sur, the pyramid was almost identical to the ones back on earth, but three moons sat low in the bright blue sky, which only too clearly screamed that we were no longer in Kansas.

After camp was set up and a quarter mile perimeter was set up I was disgusted to find out that Jackson was unable to realign the Gate. I protected him, I don't know why, but I did. I didn't let Kwalski tear him apart like I knew he wanted to.

For some reason I gave Jackson everything he wanted. I let Jackson explore. I let him make friends with the local people we eventually found hiding. The worshipped a god who had once ruled over earth, Ra, and thought that we were messengers of his or something of the likes. We eventually convinced them that we were just like them and that Ra was not a real god. I let him get involved with a woman on Abydos. Sha're was beautiful, but ultimately caused more problems than she was worth. And, I let him get us involved with Ra, and all the trouble that came with him.

I was so looking forward to one day being involved in future mission now that Skaara had reopened my eyes to life, but now I had to destroy him and his world, myself along with it.

Ra was one tough son of a bitch, I didn't think we'd get him, but a moment of sudden genius hit me as I struggled with the serpent guard in the gate room while my men fought bravely outside the pyramid. Ra was leaving with the ship, which Daniel was still aboard. Then the transport rings activated. From what I understood of the rings, anything within the ring would be taken to the other end, anything left outside would not. I moved the nuclear warhead I had set to destroy the Star Gate into the circle where the transport rings came down on, and struggled to get the Serpent Guard's head inside the circle, while keeping myself clear long enough for the rings to come down. In a flash of blinding light, the guard stopped moving. I knew his head was well above the planet now, along with the warhead that would be exploding any second now, while Jackson sat shaking with Sha're in his arms.

Of all my mistakes I made on that mission with Daniel, I became a better man. I was alive again. I didn't know if it was Daniel or Skaara I had to thank for that, or maybe the voice inside my head was right, I needed a change, and things would be clear again. Whatever it was I was happy again. I was still sad that I would never see Charlie again, but I knew there was no point sulking about it. I had to continue my life. Just because his was wasted, the rest of mine didn't have to be.

I left Daniel on Abydos. It was what he wanted. I saw in his eyes what was once in mine when I thought of Sara, or someone else, who had once consumed my mind.

When I arrived back, I reported that Daniel had died, and that the gate was destroyed. I told them all about Ra, how his eyes glowed. I told them about the Abydonians, who, I told them, were now all presumed dead.

I lied, and it gave me a thrill. But after that, I was quietly forced into retirement. I had wanted to continue trade and such with Abydos, but as far as I knew, the gate only linked back to Abydos, so there was no need for me anymore. I was given a very hardy bonus, enough to buy back my old house, and retire happily. I smiled. I wasn't really old enough to retire. I was just hitting forty. But maybe, a quiet retirement away from Sara was what I needed to be happy again.

"We'll call you," they said, "If anything crops up again with the Star Gate,"

I smiled and thought, as long as I have a purpose.

I knew Sara would be gone by the time I got back from Abydos, so I didn't even bother.

**Sam**

"What do you mean you got the Gate working?" I cried frantically. I was sick for one week, and everything I had worked on for the last 2 years had been accomplished without my even knowing. I sat in the briefing room at Cheyenne Mountain where I had spent most of the last 2 year studying the device found in Giza. I had discovered a great amount about the device and had even managed to MacGyver a system to "Dial" the device. It frustrated me that I could figure out how to get it to function. I finally had given up and called in an expert linguist. Daniel Jackson was the only man for the job. He believed things that others scorned him for, but for the last two year, I'd been studying a device that might just prove all his theories true. He deserved to be a part of this just as much as I did.

"You'll still get all the credit for the dialling computer," General Wes explained to me as I sat, huffing.

"Still, you could have called me in! I've been working my whole life for a chance for something like this! To travel to another world! I'm more than qualified and you know it!" I rarely lost my temper any more.

"We couldn't risk losing you, and we didn't see fit to postpone the trip until you were well enough,"

"Risk losing me? What, did you believe it a suicide mission?"I demanded.

"Frankly, yes. You've seen the fossil found under our Star Gate,"

"Star Gate? No one was going to bother telling me what it was actually called?"

"Captain, I'm going to have to ask you to calm down, otherwise I will have to ask you to leave this complex." I closed my mouth, but fumed inside.

"Who did you send?" I asked, politely.

"8 men, including Colonel Jack O'Neill, and Daniel Jackson," The General told me. I nearly blew up again, They sent Jackson, but they wouldn't send me. "I know what you're thinking, but they needed Jackson to decipher the gate dialling system on the other side. The symbols were different."

I glowered, but stayed calm. They sent Jackson. They would send the man who figured out that those symbols around the outside of the Star Gate as they called it, were constellations. Then suddenly I was worried. Even after all these years, my heart still pounded for Jack. Everything I did was so I might one day meet him again. But chances were now I might never have that chance, if this mission was truly Suicide.

Luckily, less than two weeks later, what was left of the team came back from Abydos. Only three men returned from the mission, Ferretti, Kawalsky, and Jack. Daniel, and the other three men had all perished during the battle with Ra. The Star Gate on Abydos was destroyed, and there was no more threat, or use, involved with the Star Gate.

"We'll call you," General Wes told me, "If anything crops up with the gate. But why don't you take some time off. We've been working you to the bone these last two years. It might do you some good." I agreed reluctantly.

It was three long years of more work at the Pentagon, none of which was nearly as interesting as the Star Gate, before I was contacted again about the Star Gate.

**A/N: so, yes, we've caught up with the plot of SG-1, however, I'm still going to continue with the story. Please Review!**


	9. Chapter 9: Reunited

At First Sight

Chapter 9: Reunited

Jack

My life had been quiet for the last 3 years. As promised, I was allowed to retire in Minnesota. I had bought a nice little cabin on a pond. There was no fish, but I still enjoyed fishing in it, pointless as it was. It was easier, away from where I lived with Sara, to forget about Charlie. Somedays, when the pain was too much, I would drink it away. But still. I was living again. By night, I watched the stars, wondering if from my roof I could see Abydos, if Skaara knew I was looking out for him. I wondered how Daniel was doing back with Sha're. Often I thought of the Star Gate, and remembered. I would often dream of travelling through the gate.

Everything couldn't have been better. Sometimes I missed the action and secrecy of life as a Special Forces Colonel, but the quiet was easier.

I was up on my roof one night, observing a clusters of stars that I had finally deduced was where Abydos was hidden. I heard a car pull up and I sighed. There was a knock on my door, and I chuckled to myself. If they could find me up here, I would listen. Maybe.

"Sir, there's a ladder over here," one man called. Damn, I thought, they've found me, and they sound like military men. Maybe I wouldn't listen then. I continued to gaze at the stars, hoping that they wouldn't find me.

One of them climbed the ladder. The polished black shoes I knew he was wearing clicked with every step up the ladder. He cleared his throat as he reached the top.

"Colonel Jack O'Neill?"

"I'm retired," was all I said, still focusing the lens of my telescope to get a better look at the star, Abydos.

"I'm Major Samuels,"

"Airforce?"

"Yes sir, I'm the General's Executive officer," he answered, somewhat self-importantly.

"What a little piece of advice, Major? Get re-assed to NASA. That's where all the action is going to be. Out there,"

Major Samuels stood quietly for a moment, then stuttered over his next words. "I... I have orders to take you to see General Hammond, sir," he seemed ruffled by my advice, as if there was no where else he'd rather be the under this General Hammond's wing.

"Never heard of him," I replied, trying to shake them off. My retirement had been quiet and just what I needed. At first I wasn't sure if I was cut out for retirement, but it turns out that I was. I was living again

"He replaced General West. He says it's important. It's about the Star Gate."

I stopped moving at the words Star Gate. What could have possibly happened? Daniel knew he could never come back now that he had chosen the life out in the stars. He knew that I would be in a hell of a lot of trouble if he contacted earth at all.

It took less than an hour to drive from my home to Cheyenne Mountain, where the Star Gate had been kept. I don't know what drove me to live near where I knew the Gate was stored, but I assumed that I thought it would be easier this way to remember Skaara.

I rode down the all too familiar elevator down to the 28th floor, like last time. The Gate was just as magnificent as I remembered it. I was brought to the General's office. I remembered when it was General Wes' office. I discovered afterwards that General Wes moved onto bigger things after the Gate was deemed inactive, and Major General Hammond, who was due to retire was given one last assignment. It was supposed to be a cake walk. Nothing to it. Babysit a great ring made up of unknown material that has been dormant for over 3 years.

Major Samuels knocked on the door and waited until General Hammond replied. He then opened the door for me. As I walked into the small office that was decorated with medals and family portraits, I focused on the man behind the desk.

General Hammond was a bit shorter than myself, and I was by no means tall, was almost completely bald, and had let himself go a little in his lazy job at Cheyenne Mountain. It was clear form the way he held himself that he'd been in a position of power for a long time, but that didn't make him a harsh man. He seemed soft, kind, and caring.

"General Hammond? This is Colonel O'Neill,"

"I'm retired," I reminded him, I had a feeling I'd be doing a lot of that in the next few days.

"I can see that," Hammond replied, not looking up from the paper he was writing on. He finished what he was writing then continued. "Me I'm on my last rounds too, trying to get my thoughts together. I've been thinking about writing a book. You ever think of that?"

"I've thought about it, but then I'd have to shoot anyone who read it," I replied, why was this man making small talk? What if something had happened on Abydos. What if Ra was back, we hadn't really killed him. Hammond looked at me confused for a second. "It's a joke, Sir," I filled in for him. "Most of my work the last couple of years has been classified. Major Samuels said something about the Star Gate?"

"Down to business, I can do that, he answered standing up. He walked me down to infirmary, where numerous beds were covered with tarps. The shapes of bodies underneath each of the tarps. The doctor uncovered the last body in the row to reveal a powerful looking man with dark skin, and a golden emblem embedded into his forehead. He pulled the tarp back futher to reveal two slits in the shape of an X.

"As far as we can tell, the slits make up a pouch, similar to that of a marsupial," the doctor explained.

"These people, or aliens, whatever you want to call them, came through the Star Gate, killed several of my men, and kidnapped another using advanced weapons," Hammond explained. One of the airmen picked up a staff weapon identical to the ones we'd seen on Abydos.

"We haven't been able to figure out how they work yet," Major Samuels explained as they tossed the Staff Weapon to me. What idiots, I thought, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how these worked. I quickly activated it, then deactivated it. This intrigued Hammond.

"Seen one before I take it?"

"Yes Sir, but there were no creatures like this on Abydos, they were all human. They were from earth, Ra brought them there thousands of years ago," I told him, hoping I wouldn't have to lie outright to this man. He seemed like the kind of person I could work well with, and I would hate to be on his bad side from day one.

"I know all about that, but your report said that this Ra was in fact some kind of alien. That he took on human hosts to survive,"

"Yes Sir, his eyes glowed. That was our first clue," I answered, hoping he caught my slight joke this time.

"Are you sure he's dead?"

"Positive,"

"Colonel, these people were guarding another man who retreated back through the Star Gate. I got a good look at his eyes. They glowed." Impossible I thought. Ra was dead. "As far as you know, Daniel Jackson, and everyone else you knew on Abydos is dead, correct?"

I paused briefly before answering "Yes, Sir,"

"Then you wont mind my sending another bomb through the gate then," he replied slyly. I realise then and there that he knew that my report was inaccurate. I shifted my weight uncomfortably as I chewed it over. I could tell him the truth, save thousands of lives, and ultimately ruin mine, or keep the life I've always wanted and say nothing.

My better half won.

"Sir, you can't do that!" I half yelled as he turned on his heel to leave the infirmary.

"Oh?"

"Sir, I regret to inform you that my report may not have been entirely accurate," I said, dropping my eye level slightly, then picking myself back up. I was going to defend my decision.

"You didn't detonate the bomb!" Hammond said triumphantly.

"Oh, I detonated it alright, only it was aboard Ra's ship, which was in orbit at the time. Everyone on Abydos is still alive, and Daniel had been living with them,"

"You violated a direct order!" Hammond shouted. I realised that I was now on his bad side. Fantastic.

"There were innocent people there!"

"There are innocent people here! I have orders too, Colonel, I obey mine!"

He sent me to the holding rooms, where Ferretti and Kawalsky were also being detained. The holding room was a small room with 2 sets of bunk beds and a table with two chairs. It was grey and dusty, as if it hadn't seen anyone for many years, probably ever. I assumed that we must have been called back to be questioned about the Star Gate, and the mission to Abydos. After the kidnapping of that officer, and since the Gate had only one destination, it seemed only right that we had lied in our reports. Ferretti assured me right away that they didn't divulge anything of the truth. For that I was grateful. It was about 20 minutes later that Hammond burst into the room.

"How many people did you say were still on Abydos?"

I had won. He had reluctantly agreed to allow me to find out if Daniel was still alive on Abydos, my way, not his. I knew that Daniel would only burry the Gate right away if a probe was sent through, so the only way to let him know I was friendly was to send the thing I knew he needed most. Kleenex. After no activity for a few days, the gate finally reopened, and the Kleenex box was sent flying back through the Gate.

"There's your answer!" I called victoriously to Hammond. "Will you let me send a team through now?"

It was later that day when we had our mission briefing for the mission through the Star Gate. For the first time in 3 years I pulled out my Service Dress, and wore it proudly. I realised once again how uncomfortable it was, and decided that if I returned to the military after this mission, I would wear this as little as possible, like I once had. Seven men stood around the long wooden table as I stood gazing out the window that over looked the Star Gate. When Hammond walked in, he told every one to take their seats, which they all moved to do.

"Where's Captain Carter?" he asked. The name jumped at me, it meant something to me from somewhere. I knew that this Carter was the person I had to thank for opening the Star Gate up to me, through Carter I was given my life back, or a new life at least. This person would forever have my gratitude, if I could ever get passed them being a scientist.

"Just arriving, Sir" one man replied.

"Carter?" I asked, I wondered why they were bringing Carter in. The scientist who got the gate running I guess should be involved this time around.

"I'm assigning Sam Carter to this mission," Hammond told me. Sam. Colonel Carter who I had once been an underling of had a daughter named Samantha. But no, there was no way it was the same person. She had much bigger and better dreams than the Air Force from what I remembered. Besides, Sam, it must be a man. My thoughts turned back to Samantha. I blushed a bit as I thought of the beautiful young girl, then shook it off.

"I'd like to put together my own team on this, Sir,"

"Not for this mission. Carter is our expert on the Star Gate,"

"Where's he transferring from?" I asked, now confused because there seemed to be too many Carter's floating around.

"She is transferring from the Pentagon," came a voice from the door way. It was a smooth female voice that made my heart pound wildly. I looked up to see the silhouette of a woman in service dress moving into the light of the room. She walked confidently with a wide gait and precise steps. She held her shoulders back, square. Her blonde hair was cropped short around her pale face, and two beautiful blue eyes shone brightly. My mouth went dry. It was Samantha. Then the peices started to fall together. Captain Carter, Sam Carter, Samantha Carter. They were one and the same.

"I take it you're Colonel O'Neill," she said as she stood in front of me, saluting me while saying "Captain Samantha Carter, reporting for duty, Sir!" She smiled surreptitiously at me, and I smiled back.

"But, of course, you go by Sam," Kawalsky butted in. I felt a burst of anger towards him with the tone he used on her.

"Not to worry, sir, I played with dolls when I was kid," she answered, somewhat savagely, but still sophisticated. She had grown up a lot in the years since I had last seen her. She had grown into the beautiful woman of my dreams. My angel that got me through my toughest times.

As the men continued to mock her, I grew somewhat resentful towards them. Couldn't they see she was a brilliant, beautiful woman? I shook myself so as to get a hold of myself. I had to start now. I couldn't go gaga over a lower ranking officer. That was strictly forbidden.

"For those of you on your first mission through the gate, you should be prepared for what to expect," I began.

"Excuse me, Sir, I've memorized your report for the first mission. I'd like to think my whole life has been leading up to this mission," Sam told me, and I realised that she hadn't forgotten me either. I smiled at the thought that she might feel this spark to, and sat gritting my teeth as Kawalsky and Ferretti continued to mock her, however, she just shot them down again and again. She was way smarter than them. I rolled my eyes. So Sam had worked her way up through Air Force. As much as I wanted her around, I couldn't have her with me. For one, she was a scientist. For another, I wouldn't be able to think rationally when ordering her to do things. So I did what I believed was the easiest way to make her reconsider her position.

"Oh, here we go again, another scientist!" I complained. I shot a glance at Sam, who looked annoyed beyond compare.

"Theoretical Astrophysicist," she snapped.

"Which means?" I asked.

"Which means she's smarter than you are Colonel, especially in matters concerning the Star Gate," Hammond told me. Then men started laughing at me. I couldn't decide if I was more annoyed at them for finding it so funny, or Hammond for not getting rid of Sam. I glared at them, and they stopped immediately.

"Sir, I was studying that gate for two years before Daniel Jackson got it to work, and before you both went through. I should have gone then. Sir, you and you're men might as well accept the fact that I am going through this time," she told me. She was past the point of being annoyed now. Venom was being glared at me through those icy blue eyes.

"Well, with all due respect, Doctor..." she cut me off.

"It is appropriate to refer to a person by their rank not their salutations," she was getting snappier by the second. I figured it was time to back off a bit. "I'm an air force officer just like you are, and just because my reproductive organs are on the inside, not outside, doesn't mean that I can't handle anything you can handle." I smiled.

"I have nothing against women. I like women," I answered, smiling at her. She had turned into a fantastic woman, "It's scientists I have a problem with."

"I logged over 100 hours in enemy airspace during the Gulf War. Is that tough enough for you? Or are we going to have to arm wrestle?" With that, she leaned back in her chair. She had done what she had set out to do. She had proved to Kawalsky and Ferretti that she was one tough bitch, and she proved to me that I wasn't going to have a problem with her, and if I could keep her close, maybe after this mission I would retire so I could have her.

"I hate to put a damper on your enthusiasm, but I still think that the only way to stop these aliens is to bury the gate like the ancient Egyptians did," Major Samuels interrupted before I could tell Sam she was welcome on my team.

"That won't work. They know what we are now. They know how far we've come. We're a threat to them. They don't need the Gate to get here. They can do it the old fashioned way. So no ofence, mister glass-is-half-empty, but don't you think we should use the Gate for some recon before they decide to come back?"

"You have 24 hours to return, or send a message through the Gate. And, please, no Kleenex boxes this time," Hammond finally agreed. I smiled. Time to get to know Sam, again, then.

**A/N: well there we have it. My longest chapter. Yey. This one was based off the episode "Children of Gods" However, I had to change some things to make it shorter =S that's what took so long. Anyways. Hope you enjoy. =) Please Review tons!**


	10. Chapter 10: The Star Gate

At First Sight

Chapter 10: The Star Gate

Finally, a weekend where I was allowed to just sleep in. My report on worm hole physics that I had been working on for the last few months was finally finished, and I was given the weekend to have a life. First, I was going to sleep past 8 o'clock for the first time in I don't know how long, and then I thought I might clean my house, as exciting that sounded, but frankly, I couldn't wait. It seemed a little odd, to be excited about something as trivial as sleeping in and cleaning the house, but I couldn't remember the last time I'd had the time to do either.

I stayed up late watching one of the Star Wars movies, fell asleep on the couch half way through, and shook myself awake close to midnight. The blue glow that the TV cast on the room was kind of eerie. I smiled to myself. No matter how hard I tried, if I wasn't doing something that required brain power, I always fell asleep around 10. Shaking my head, I stood up, and shut off the TV. I shuffled to my room which was down the hall from the living room, and crawled into bed. My head didn't even hit the pillow and I was out like a light.

I was in a strange desert with Jack at my side. He was shading his eyes as he looked up at the sky. The sky was a bright blue, and three moons hung low in the sky. A great pyramid was the only structure as far as the eye could see. Jack stood so tall and proud that he reminded of a statue of a Greek god. As far as I was concerned, there was no finer man, anywhere in the galaxy. As if satisfied with what he was seeing, he looked down at me with a smile.

"Wonderful, isn't it?" he asked, "The moons, the pyramid, you," I blushed as he finished his thought. "Sam, ever since coming here, I've wanted to show you how beautiful it was. However, nothing compares to your beauty," He pulled me into his arms, his gentle brown eyes glittering with mischief, and he lowered his face closer to mine. I closed my eyes, readying myself for it, the kiss I'd wanted my entire life, he was getting closer and...

BRING! BRING! A sharp sound shook me out of my dream. I jumped a few feet at the sound, my heart pounding wildly, my breathing ragged, a cold sweat pouring down over my eyes, making my body feel as if I'd been plunged into an ice cold bath. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, and looked around for the source of the disturbance. My phone, I grumbled. I shot an ice cold glance at the clock. 330 AM. So much for sleeping in I thought. What could possibly be so important that someone would call me so early on my weekend off? I grumbled miserably as I swung myself out of my warm bed into the cold morning air. I felt goose bumps rise on my arms immediately. I snatched the phone off the hook and pressed it to my ear.

"Captain Carter," I mumbled into the receiver.

"This is Major Samuels, I'm General Hammond's Executive Officer," an overconfident voice said into my ear.

"Hammond?" I asked through a yawn.

"General Hammond replaced General West," Samuels replied.

"Who? Look, it's my weekend off, call be back later," I told him, and removed the phone from my ear. Just as I was about to hang it up I heard a voice call. His voice sounded panicked

"Captain, it's about the Star Gate," I snapped the phone back to my ear. I was fully alert now.

"Star Gate?"

"Yes, you need to come to Colorado, now! The briefing is at 0800." Briefing? I thought. The last I'd heard, the Star Gate was being stored under a tarp, still attached to the dialling computer I'd MacGyvered, in Cheyenne Mountian. As Far as I knew, it was a drain on the government's wallet. Two years of my life had been wasted on the Gate, and I had nothing to show for it. What could possibly have happened that they would be calling me at 3:30 on a Saturday morning?

I pulled on my service dress, brushed my teeth and snacked on a piece of toast. I could only remember moving this fast once before. The image of that first time Jack walked into my life still like a beacon at the end of a very long tunnel. I was out the door, and waiting at the Airport in Washington in less than an hour.

As always, in situations such as these, a private jet waited for me upon my arrival at the air port and was in the air in less than half an hour, which was surprising considering the early hour. 0500, I thought. I'll just arrive on time, I might even be late. The idea tormented me the whole way there, along with the curiosity of why I was being summoned out of bed on a topic that I hadn't been a part of for over a year now.

"Captain?" the Sergeant who sat on the plane with me said once the plane was at cruising altitude. "Here's the folder I was told to give you. It contains information on why you're needed," he handed me a blue folder with the US Air Force emblem stamped on the front. It was about an inch thick with paper. I figured it probably contained all my own notes from the past five years regarding the Star Gate.

I opened the folder, and sure enough, the first 100 or so pages were just as I predicted. Some of it was even photocopies of handwritten notes that I hadn't bothered to translate into typing. I quickly skimmed over my notes, in case there was something among them I hadn't seen before. It wasn't until the last 3 pages that I noticed there was something that wasn't my own. The ink was smudged slightly on these pages, which indicated that they had been thrown into this folder only moments after it was printed, as if they had been in a hurry. I read the date at the top. It had been written at the same time I had been woken up this very morning.

The first few pages were just a brief summary of everything that had happened with the Star Gate thus far, pointing out the key points about its functions, which I already knew. It was the last page that really caught my attention. It read:

_At 2137 the evening of September 17__th__, the device stored inside Cheyenne Mountain, known as the Star Gate was activated. A group of airmen who were in the room at the time witnessed 6 hostile aliens walk out of the wormhole created by the Star Gate. Four of them were killed _(it listed the names of four Air Force Lieutenants)_with advanced energy type weapons that were identified as the same "staff weapons" seen on Abydos during the April 1994, _ _and a fifth was kidnapped by one of the aliens. _(It gave the name a fifth person, a woman). _One of the hostile aliens was killed in the struggle. A partial Autopsy was performed on the alien, and it was discovered that he contained a pouch (similar to that of a marsupial) on his stomach. It is unclear at this time what the pouch might have been used for. Colonel Jack O'Neill, Major Charles Kawalsky, and Major Louis Ferretti (the only remaining survivors of the original mission) were brought in immediately for questioning, and it was discovered that the gate on Abydos was in fact not destroyed. An object was sent through the Star Gate to contact Dr Daniel Jackson who it is assumed is still alive and living on Abydos. At 0205 on September 20__th__, Jackson sent a message back through the gate. It has been decided that a team of four men (Colonel O'Neill, Major Kawalsky, Major Ferretti, and Captain Carter) will be sent through the gate on a reconnaissance mission, and to retrieve Dr. Jackson. _

My heart skipped a beat every time Jack's name was mentioned. As I read the last sentence, I was overjoyed. Not only was I finally getting my chance to go through the Star Gate, but I was also getting my chance with Colonel O'Neill. I would show him just how good I was, and just how much he really wanted me.

When the plane landed, I was right to assume I'd be late arriving for the briefing. It was 7:14 AM when I left the Denver Airport, which gave us very little time to drive to Cheyenne Mountain in time for 8:00. I was ushered into a car which sat ready at the entrance of the air port. Before I was even buckled in and settled, the car was speeding off.

If I hadn't been a pilot for most of my life, the speed at which the man behind the wheel would have terrified me. I grabbed the seat tightly, but other than that, showed, or felt, no discomfort. Granted, the speed 130 miles per hour on the ground felt a hell of a lot faster than more than 3 times that speed in a fighter jet hundreds of miles above the earth.

We arrived at Cheyenne Mountain with 3 minutes to spare. I knew it would take at least ten to get down to the 28th floor, where the Star Gate, and briefing room were situated. I waited patiently in the elevator, but was buzzing on the inside. After 17 long years of trying to become what O'Neill wanted, of staying out of his way, I was finally going to see him again.

I remembered all too well how much of an impact he'd had on my life, and I wanted to become part of his. Unfortunately, I went about it the wrong way, but it was the only way that I could one day be at his side, even if I wasn't going to be his. I knew when I signed up for the Air Force that nothing could ever happen between us while he was still enlisted, or I was of a lower rank than him.

As the elevator drew closer to the 28th floor, I started to hyperventilate a bit, but I quickly got a hold of myself. As the doors opened, I composed my features into my "professional/tough" look that I reserved for situations where I knew I was going to have to prove myself to a room full of men who believed they were better than any woman.

I walked confidently past the supercomputer I had helped construct 4 years ago, and through the window, was the Star Gate that I had spent 3 and a half years staring at, hoping that the answer would come to me.

"Where's Captain Carter?" I heard a man ask from inside the briefing room as I started to climb the spiral stairs.

"Just arriving, sir," the voice I recognized from the phone. That was when the voice I had only dreamed about for the last 17 years wafted out to me.

"Carter?" Just hearing his voice sent me into flutters again. I stopped climbing the stairs and started taking deep breaths again. Maybe I wasn't ready yet to face him again.

"I'm assigning Sam Carter to this mission," the first man replied with authority. That must have been General Hammond.

"I'd like to put together my own team on this, sir," Jack answered, my heart fell slightly. There was only two possibilities. He'd forgotten me, or he'd remembered and didn't want me.

"Not for this mission, Carter is our expert on the Star Gate," Hammond answered with finality in his voice.

"Where is he transferring from?" Jack asked, so he had forgotten. Well, this was my time to shine then. I stepped into the room, covered in shadow, taking long and purposeful steps I hope showed the men sitting around the table I meant business.

"She," I said, "Is transferring from the Pentagon," My eyes clapped on Jack the moment they found him, and stayed there. I watched him as he looked up slowly from the folder that was in front of him, I was sure it contained the same notes that I had read earlier this morning. His eyes met mine, and I saw something there. I couldn't make it out. Familiarity? Shock? Wonder? Understanding? I didn't know. But if he had forgotten, I would act as though we'd never met. It was better that way, less awkward.

"I take it you're Colonel O'Neill, Captain Samantha Carter, reporting for duty, Sir!" I swiftly saluted him, never dropping my eyes from his, smiling slightly.

"But of course, you go by Sam?" a man asked.

"No need to worry, Major, I played with dolls as a kid," I told him, showing him that he could try, but there was no way he was going to win this one.

"G.I Joe?" he asked.

"No, Major Matt Mason," I told him sarcastically. I watched him in amusement as his face turned confused, and he looked at the Major sitting next to him for answers. I shot a quick glance at Jack, and saw that he seemed to be chewing on his tongue in frustration or something similar.

I let them try to pull me down, but they were quickly interrupted by Jack who decided it was time to start.

"For those of you on your first mission through the gate, you should be prepared for what to expect," Jack was saying. Now was the time to let him know, that if he did remember me, I had spent most my life working up to this moment.

"Sir, I've memorized your report from the first mission. I'd like to think that I've spent my whole life preparing for this," I told him. I saw his eyes flash with something, familiarity perhaps. I smiled to myself before Kawalsky interrupted my day dream.

"I think what the Colonel is trying to say is, have you ever pulled out of a simulated bombing run in a F16 at 10 plus G's?" Kawalsky asked.

"Yes," I told him coldly.

"Uh...Well... It's way worse than that!"

"By the time you get to the other side your frozen stiff, like you've been through a Snow storm, naked," Ferretti told me. This much I could explain.

"That's from compression your molecules undergo under the nanosecond required for reconstitution." I told him, colder still. Apparently I wasn't getting anywhere with impressing these men.

"Oh, here we go, another scientist!" Jack blurted out. My heart fell a bit. He hated me already.

"Theoretical Astrophysicist!" I told him, trying to defend myself, a bit snappily.

"Which means?" Jack asked, as if saying like it matters.

Hammond cut across at that moment, "Which means she's smarter than you, especially in matters concerning the Star Gate." I smiled to myself. At least Hammond was on my side. And maybe even the other two, who starting laughing at Hammond's words. But I had lost the most important man in the room.

"Sir, I was studying that gate for two years before Daniel Jackson got it to work, and before you both went through. I should have gone then. Sir, you and you're men might as well accept the fact that I am going through this time," I told him, hoping that maybe I would redeem myself.

"With all due respect, doctor..." He started. That was it. He didn't see me as an officer. He wanted nothing to do with me.

"It is appropriate to refer to a person by their rank not their salutations," I snapped, "I'm an air force officer just like you are, and just because my reproductive organs are on the inside, not outside, doesn't mean that I can't handle anything you can handle."

"Oh, I have nothing against women, I like women. It's scientists I have a problem with," he answered.

"I hate to put a damper on your enthusiasm, but I still think that the only way to stop these aliens is to bury the gate like the ancient Egyptians did," Major Samuels finally intervened. It seemed he'd had enough of this nonsense, just as I had. By this point I didn't really want to go through the gate any more.

"That won't work. They know what we are now. They know how far we've come. We're a threat to them. They don't need the Gate to get here. They can do it the old fashioned way. So no ofence, mister glass-is-half-empty, but don't you think we should use the Gate for some recon before they decide to come back?" Jack told him, personally, I agreed, but I wasn't about to say that.

"You have 24 hours to return, or send a message through the Gate. And, please, no Kleenex boxes this time," Hammond finally agreed. I saw Jack smile, I shook myself. Stop watching him I ordered myself. It wasn't worth it anymore.

**A/N: And here we have Sam's POV of the same period of time. Next will be Jack's just before the mission, then I figure something out =)**


	11. Chapter 11: Almost There

At First Sight

Chapter 11:

It was 1100 when we were finally let out of the briefing. For the remainder of the time we had gone over specifics of the gate, the planet, the people who had lived there. Even a very detailed profile about Daniel Jackson was brought up.

"Daniel," I had told the room, "is a scientist. He sneezes a lot. He's kind of nerdy. But the thing you have to know about Daniel is that he has a very large heart. He cares for everything and everyone. He puts 120% of his heart into everything he does," Kawalsky and Ferretti nodded as I told everyone about Daniel. Sam smiled a bit, which made me angry inside. There was no way she could possibly find Daniel in anyway appealing.

When went up to do her bit on the Star Gate, I couldn't keep my eyes off her. Her skin was fair, with a bit of flush in her cheeks. I could tell that she was nervous now, standing up in front of the men, but she wanted nothing more than to prove herself worthy, as was indicated by the ferociousness of those bright blue eyes. Her full lips taunted me as she spoke confidently and passionately about what she had uncovered while working on the Star Gate. She tried not to fidget too much, but she often made small gestures with her hands, flinging the remote control for the projector around with her hand movements.

"One of the most fascinating things I discovered about the Star Gate is that there are nine 'Chevrons' that seem to be able to be activated, but it only requires seven to create a wormhole, which leads me to believe that it has other functions," she told us excitedly at one point in her presentation. 'Wormhole physics is just such a complex topic, that it's almost impossible to completely explain it in such a short time!"

Ferretti laughed at her enthusiasm, which I found somewhat endearing, however, I understood very little of what she was saying, or maybe I had just been too preoccupied by looking at her that I just stopped listening, and when I would jump in, it all sounded far too complex for me to even being to understand.

Finally, Hammond let us go, satisfied that he knew everything he could possibly need to know about the Star Gate, telling us that the mission would leave at 1500. He had insisted that he understood everything possible in case anything should happen. Most of the men had stopped paying attention to the briefing somewhere during Sam's bit, but Sam and Hammond gave their undivided attention for the entirety of the briefing, which impressed me quite a bit. Sam however, started to fade when there was about 20 minutes left of the briefing, and as soon as Hammond dismissed us, she quickly stood up, and left the room. Curious, I followed. It turned out she was making a break for the cafeteria, which had been serving a little of food, while this place was only being used as a top secret storage facility, for the few officers that watched the place. Now however, with the place full of activity like it had been 3 years ago, a lot more food was being served.

I could smell the bitter smell of coffee in the air. It seemed as if the poor women who ran the commissaryhad been brewing pots of coffee non-stop since personnel had started arriving again. I understood. There had been many late nights since the aliens had come through the gate. I myself had spent more than half of the nights since my return to Cheyenne Mountain up past 2 AM trying to help draw up maps of the area surrounding the Star Gate. I spent hours describing Ra and his men. I explained the transport rings, the ship that Ra flew (somewhat inaccurately since I hadn't been inside). On many of those occasions I drank cup after cup of coffee. And now it seemed that the commissarywho permanently smell like coffee.

However, other scents wafted into my nose. Chicken noodle soup, tuna sandwiches, blue raspberry jell-o, apple pie. It was overwhelming. My stomach started grumbling, reminding me that I hadn't eaten since 7 o'clock that morning before the briefing. It felt as though my stomach, having nothing else to tame its hunger on, was digesting it's self.

I watched as Sam stood impatiently in the line for food, piling a whole assortment of food on to the tray she was carrying. Crossing the room, I ended up behind her in the line.

"Hungry are we?" I asked her. She turned quickly, the can of soda toppling off her tray. With reflexes like a cat, she snatched it right out of mid-air, and quickly placed it back on the tray.

"Starving," she said coolly, narrowing her eyes slightly.

"Me too, I haven't eaten in over 4 hours," I told her, trying to start a conversation.

"All I've had since 4 this morning was a piece of toast," she informed me. I looked at her in amazement.

"You have amazing focus! I would have gone crazy in there if I hadn't eaten in that long," I told her, completely serious, for once. "You've grown into quite the woman Sam."

"So you do remember me," she replied, under her breath. I wondered if it was more to herself than anything else as she looked away, trying to see if there was anything else worth eating. Apparently there wasn't because before I could go against my better judgment and tell that I did remember her, she turned on her heel, her body language clearly telling me to get the hell away, and chose a table at the far end of the commissary.

"Of course I do, how could I forget?" I told her as I followed close on her tail. "You remember me, don't you?"

I watched her expression change from cold, hard pain to shock. It appeared she hadn't thought of it that way, or maybe I had hit a nerve. I was leaning towards the latter as she started chewing her cheek impatiently. A loud noise rumbled from her stomach, and Sam blushed slightly, turning towards her food, breaking eye contact with me.

"You go, eat, I will see you later," I told her, laughing slightly to myself. What a woman she had turned out to be. Such a hard worker. I thought back to that first time I saw her, sitting out in the sun of early spring, it making her golden locks shimmer, hunched over some algebra problem that I would never be able to solve. She was the same in that aspect, the part I'd fallen in love with at first sight. The difference lay with the way she carried herself, much more confident than the young girlI had known all those years ago, and never stopped thinking about. I still felt that it was my right to protect her, but no longer as a child, but as one I wanted to keep close to my heart forever.

I shook myself out of it. It was wrong on so many levels to be thinking of Sam the way I was. She was under my direct command for one. Any fantasies I had ever had, and was currently having would have to remain personal. That is if I could contain myself.

**A/N: so there you have it. It's very late, yes I know... I'm sorry. I've been having a relatively crazy life of late. =) The end is a failure. I know Jack would never do some of these things, but, I dunno, it just has to work... so no complaining... actually if you have any feed back, please provide it =) **

**FANKS!**


	12. Chapter 12: Picking Up

At First Sight

Chapter 12: Picking Up

It wasn't so much picking up where we left off as it was picking up as if we had been close friends our entire lives.

Jack pushed me through the star gate almost playfully, something most men wouldn't do to a woman. I didn't know if this was a poor attempt on his part at flirting with me, which I highly doubted, or if he simply considered me as "one of the guys," someone he could joke around with easily, which also seemed unlikely, seeing as the first thing I reminded him of was the fact that I did not in fact have a penis.

I shook myself as I sat nauseated from the unstable journey half way across the galaxy, failing at trying to hide the fact that I was less than fine. There was no point analyzing everything Colonel Jack O'Neill did. There was nothing there. No spark, no potential! Instead I busied myself with the fact that the journey was so rough, it didn't seem likely that that was how the gate was supposed to work. It was a highly sophisticated piece of machinery, so a bumpy ride would have been something the ancient race who built the devices would have worked out. I would have to find a way to fix that upon my return to earth. How odd it seemed to think that I was no longer on my own planet. Everything seemed exactly the same as back on earth.

As all this ran through my head, I realised I'd let my guard down for too long as 7 or 8 young men all surrounded us, pointing P90s and pistols at us. They were all dressed as if out an Ancient Egyptian text book, all except that is, one man who came rushing forwards with round glasses perched on his nose. He was dressed in a similar fashion, but it was clear he did not belong with this group by natural selection. While most of the others had longer dark skin and hair, this man had blue eyes like the sky, though they were hard to see through the dirty glasses, and slightly shorter (although it was still too long for my liking, having been around men with short cropped hair my entire life) dirty blond hair.

"Lower your guns" he cried, after repeating it twice in a language I didn't understand, with American accent. This was only further proof that he was not originally from this group. They all spoke in the same language I was not familiar with, and if they did speak English, it was heavily accented and hard to understand. Once all the younger men lowered their weapons, he turned and smiled brilliantly at Jack.

"Hello, Jack," he said a bit uncertainly, "Uh, welcome back." Jack moved towards the man with a slight smile on his face. It was only apparent that he had no intention of replying when he pushed passed the man and continued walking to a boy on the other side of the room. The man rolled his eyes, annoyed with Jack.

The boy threw his hand up in a salute, to which Jack replied with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen, and a salute back.

"Skaara," he said, the smile evident even in his voice.

"O'Neill!" the boy replied, throwing himself at Jack, the laughed and hugged like a father and son who had not seen each other in a long time. "I did not think to be seeing you again!"

At last, O'Neill turned to the man, and said "Daniel, how you been doing?"

"Good and you?" Daniel replied shortly.

"Much better, now that I see everybody's okay,"

Ferretti made the Vulcan symbol and smiled at Daniel. "Greetings from earth, Dr. Jackson."

"Brought you a little something!" Kwalaski joked, passing Daniel a package of Kleenex. Jackson smiled and greeted both the men. As he did so, a woman entered the chamber in which we all stood. I looked around the room, drinking it all in.

"Sha're, don't be shy," he told he, and she floated across the room with a long and even stride that portrayed confidence. She tucked herself under Daniel's arm, and shook the outstretched hand that the Colonel offered her. "So, I figured it was only a matter of time you'd have to tell them we were still here."

Jack nodded, and proceeded to question Daniel if anything had come through their gate. Daniel's forehead creased as he frowned in confusion. That was when my eyes fell on something that looked just as out of place in this stone room as we did.

"AMAZI NG! This is what was missing at the dig in Giza!" I laughed nervously as my fingers ran over the intricate designs that matched those on the rim of the Star Gate. "It took us 15 years and 3 supercomputers to MacGyver a system to run the gate on earth! Look how small it is!" As I continued to marvel, I noticed that the Colonel was calling me. When I finally looked up from the Dialling Device, O'Neill motioned towards Daniel, and I came to my senses. I smiled and turned towards him. "Dr. Jackson, I presume. I'm Dr. Samantha Carter."

"Thought you wanted to be called Captain," O'Neill remarked. I turned, and saw he wasn't really smiling anymore. Jackson seemed to notice too.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"6 hostile aliens came through our gate. 4 people are dead and 1 is missing,"

"One of them looked like Ra, Daniel," Kwalski finished.

Daniel explained quickly that there was no way the hostiles could have come from Abydos. But the fact still remained that these aliens came from somewhere.

"I think I can help you find who it was, but it's going to have to wait until after the sandstorm. We were just getting ready for our evening meal. Would you care to join us?"

AS the storm raged outside, we waited inside the gigantic pyramid, around a happily crackling fire, with conversation all around us. I had managed to slip in beside Jack. As we ate, he asked me about my life, and why I had joined the air force, he also pretended to understand my research as I tried to contain my excitement while explaining. I could see on his face that he didn't give a damn about how a worm hole worked, just that it did, and he was still alive when he stepped out of the other end. He laughed and smiled as if he hadn't in some time.

While he communicated with others, I sat and watched quietly, I laughed when I thought it was appropriate, such as when the boy he called Skaara offered him Moonshine, which ended up being sprayed all over me. In an undertone, he apologized, which I just laughed off. He really seemed to have a deep bond with Skaara, which only became more evident when Skaara held a lighter out to Jack.

"I gave that to you, to keep!" Jack reminded him. With a small smile and a nod, Skaara tucked the lighter back in his clothing.

"He never let that out of his sight," Daniel told Jack. "So anyways, this man that looks like Ra, he must have come from a different Star Gate."

"Different Star Gate?" I asked, for the first time, interrupting a conversation that had not been directed at me. "The Star Gate only goes here."

Jackson gave a small laugh indicating he knew something, "Think you're wrong about that,"

"I was there! We ran countless simulations."

"But you didn't have what you need,"

"What do you mean?" Jack asked.

Skaara walked over, "Daniel, the storm has passed,"

"I will show you," Daniel replied. He stood up, whispered something to Sha're, to which she replied with a deep kiss that sent my heart pounding. With Jack so close it was hard not to reach over and try to do the same to him. I moved my line of sight away from Daniel and Sha're, and took deep breaths. The room filled with cheers of delight as the kiss continued. Daniel seemed shell shocked as she finally broke the kiss.

He led us out of the pyramid out into a great desert. We walked for a short time through the breathtaking desert. Three moons lit up the darkening sky. Finally, a small temple came into view.

"Captain/Doctor, you are going to love this," he announced as we walked inside. We were inside a great room, a few times bigger than the chamber inside the pyramid that we had been dining in. The walls were lined with Horace statues, at least 12-15 on each of the two long walls. At the end there was an golden emblem of Ra's eye, the symbol of the false god that had once ruled this world. The golden walls were covered in hieroglyphs. As I took in the awesome sight of this archaeological find of the century, Jack asked Daniel the most important question yet.

"Have you translated any of this yet?"

"Yup," was Daniel's simple reply.

"Well, what does it say?"

"It doesn't say anything, it's more of a chart, a map,"

"Of?"

"Well, I haven't had a chance to analyze all of it yet, I mean look at all of this, it would take my whole life,"

Jack was starting to get a bit annoyed now, "Daniel, we don't have that long, what is it a map of?"

This was almost the invitation Daniel seemed to be searching for, because he launched into an fantastic explanation of how each of the Cartouches seemed to be connected by a series of lines, that they were all grouped in groups of seven, and that all the symbols were on the Star Gate, which I was also beginning to see as well. If Daniel was right, this could be a map to a whole network of Star Gates. But it didn't seem possible. Of course, I was referring to the fact that I had tried many combinations of 7 symbols, all of which ended with earth as the point of origin, and none of them worked.

"I tried a similar thing here," Daniel explained, "and none of them worked either, but I figured that the destination had either been destroyed or buried, but some of them somewhere must still exist,"

I shook my head, "I don't think so," It couldn't be.

"Well, where did your Ra look alike come from?" Jack and I were speechless; no answer came to either of us. "Look, I don't pretend to know anything about astrophysics, but don't the planets change, drift apart or something like that, that would throw this map off?" I smiled. I couldn't believe that hadn't hit me sooner.

"I knew I'd like you," I heard Jack scoff slightly.

"You mean I'm right?"

"According to the expanding universe theory, all bodies in the universe are constantly moving apart from one another,"

"So in the thousands of years since the Star Gates were created,"

"All the coordinates would have changed,"

"But why does it still work between Abydos and Earth?" It was nice to finish each other's sentences. Pity he was married, I thought maliciously, thinking of Jack, and how he didn't really seem to care. Then I started to think about what Daniel had said.

"Well, Abydos is probably the closest planet to earth in the network to earth. I mean the closer they are, the less difference in relative position due to expansion, the further away, the greater the difference. In a few thousand years, it won't work between Abydos and Earth either,"

"Unless you can compensate for the displacement,"

"Right, now, with this map as a base, that should be easy! All we have to do is correct for Doppler's shift, then I should be able to arrive with a computer model that can predict the adjustments necessary to get the Gate working again!" I was so excited. I hadn't even considered this possibility. A whole galaxy was out there waiting to be explored! Doors opened before my eyes. It wasn't until Kwalski spoke that I realised I'd gone off on a tangent. So much for impressing anyone.

"Any civilisation advanced enough to create this gate network would have been advanced enough to compensate for fifty thousand years of stellar drift." There I go again, I thought. No point now, he's seen the real me. If that turns him away, he wasn't worth my time. As I took a breath, I watched Jack curiously. He looked around the room in disbelief. I saw it on his face. It was plain as black and white. He was considering the possibility, and he wasn't pushing me away either.

With this new information, we couldn't decide whether to be ecstatic, or disheartened. On the one hand, there was whole worlds to discover, and explore, maybe even use for the benefit of the human race. On the other, the aliens could have come from anywhere.

When at last we returned, we walked into a battle field, or at least what was left behind of one. Abydonians were scrambling about frantically, helping those who had been injured. The smell of gunpowder was in the air, it was clear that there had been a fire fight here. However, the men who were wounded didn't bear the marks of bullets penetrating the skin, but rather round burns that were smoking dangerously.

Daniel raced around the room, shouting for Sha're, and stopped when he came across a boy who was gravely injured. Jack bent down with him to hear what the boy had to say. Hysterically, the boy claimed that it was Ra who came, and took Sha're and Skaara through the Gate.

**A/N: **

**I'm doing my best. I know this is just Children of the Gods, but it's always nice to hear what Sam is thinking, so I figured that it was worth putting this in. Give it 2 chapters more, and we will be back into a more creative part of the story. No worries =) hope you are still enjoying it =). I don't own Star Gate SG-1**


	13. Chapter 13: Team Effort

**At First Sight**

**Chapter 13: Team Effort**

Back at the SGC, with a gravely injured Ferretti, and a reluctant Daniel (who had explained to the people of Abydos that they had to bury the gate, and in a year he would be back with Sha're), we were shown the iris that had been put in place over the Star Gate. It was made of pure titanium. It was impressive to say the least. I explained the situation to General Hammond as Carter helped the medical team rush Ferretti to the infirmary. When the very brief explanation was over, Daniel interrupted.

"Hi, I'm Daniel Jackson, we've never met, I'd like to be on the team that goes after them," Daniel held out his hand hopefully, and Hammond stared at him in distaste before declining to shake his hand and explaining that he was in no position to be making demands. Daniel and I moved out of the gate room to make room for the others who had been less gravely injured and the heavy packs.

As we walked down the busy hall, I noticed Carter standing outside the infirmary, a few tears streaming down her face. I moved quickly towards her, trying to leave a puppy dog like Jackson behind so I could comfort her.

"Hey, this sort of thing happens," I said soothingly, trying to pull her into my arms.

"I know, it just doesn't seem fair, not only do we have no idea where these aliens came from, but they keep taking people, and lives," she wasn't crying hard, it seemed more shock than anything. "It's not like I haven't seen death before. In fact I've caused death before. It's just everything was so happy and joyous, and now everything is sad and painful." If I was any kind of man, I would know how to comfort her better, but I wasn't.

"Would it help if we went and got some of that pie from the commissary?" I joked, she laughed shakily and nodded. I didn't know if she didn't trust herself to speak anymore, or if she was simply lost for words.

For hours the two of us sat at a table, she had eaten a piece of pie, I had eaten at least 2, while she talked. We didn't talk about the mission or anything regarding the mission, just about memories that were happy. It was good to see a smile on that porcelain face of hers, but it made me realise that I never wanted to see her hurt or crying again. I was faced with a dilemma in that moment. If she wanted to continue being a part of the air force, she would inevitably get hurt, so did I follow where she went, protect her forever, but forever being her commanding officer, so no relationship would ever be possible? Or did I let her go? I sat contemplating this as she prattled on about something. It didn't matter as long as she was smiling, at me.

We finally left when Carter fell asleep at the table. It was only then that I realised that Carter had been firing on all cylinders since 3 that morning. It seemed a life time ago that she had arrived on the base, and that had only been at 7, she had been travelling for four hours before she'd even arrived. It shocked me that she was still functioning as well as she had been up to this point.

I didn't want to wake her, so I picked her up. For such a muscular woman, she was light as a feather. I carried her down the hall to the guest quarters next to the ones I'd been staying in. That was the wonderful thing about this complex, there were sleeping quarters on every level, along with numerous quarantine cells. If ever anything were to go wrong, this place was well equipped for it. The room was identical to the one I had taken residence in for the last week. I placed her carefully on the plain grey cot in the center of the room. She stirred slightly, but she fell asleep as soon as I managed to get the scratchy covers over her.

It was a tossup whether or not to kiss her forehead, but then I remembered the cameras that were outfitted in every room of the complex, for security reasons. (Security reasons my ass, I thought.)

I made my way back to the infirmary, where the doctor stood silently.

"He'll be alright; he took quite the hit though. He's lucky you got him back as soon as you did," he announced.

"You have Carter to thank for his speedy return," I replied, still shocked she'd been strong enough to drag him on to a stretcher.

"So I've been told, she's quite the fighter,"

I nodded, then walked into the room. I noticed Kwalski sitting in the chair next to Ferretti's bed, half asleep.

"Doc says he'll be alright," I said loudly, Kwalski jumped slightly, and nodded, "You stay here all night?"

"Yes sir," he answered. I smiled slightly and left.

It was finally time to leave Cheyenne Mountain for the first time in weeks. They had allowed me, since I lived so close, to leave for the time being until there was more that they could do. Until Ferretti woke up and told us the coordinates, if he'd seen them, there was no point for me to be on the base.

As I pulled on my jacket, and walked towards the second of two elevators, I noticed Daniel leaning against a wall, in a complete daze. I knew he had no idea what to do with himself. Four years ago, when we'd originally gone to Abydos, Daniel had been evicted from his apartment. All he owned was the clothes on his back. I tapped his shoulder, and told him to come with me. There was no point leaving him here.

Once back in my home, I sat him on the couch with a box of Kleenex and a beer. He told me about Abydos after we left, the parties they'd had. He told me of Sha're. The passion in his eyes as he told me about her was unlike anything I'd ever imagined possible. Or maybe not. I knew such passion existed for me, but at the present it was unattainable.

That was when Daniel pulled the taboo card. Something I had been trying to bury for the passed four years.

"When am I going to meet your wife?"

"Oh, um... Never. When I got back from Abydos the first time, she was already gone,"

"I'm sorry," Daniel answered, realising what he'd done.

"Yeah, so was I. I think in her heart she forgave me for what happened to our kid, but she just couldn't forget."

"And what about you?"

"I'm the opposite. I will never forgive myself. But sometimes I can forget. Sometimes." I took another swig of my beer.

The night was pretty well quiet after that. Daniel drank himself into the stupor I knew all too well, and passed out on the couch. I quietly crept to my bed well passed 3 in the morning, and passed out, not waking up until my alarm blared at 0900. The sound was a pain I'd never known. It was as if someone was driving nails into my skull. I didn't think I'd had that much to drink, but apparently I had. I stumbled out to the living room where at least 2 cases of beer sat empty. I squinted passed the bright light that streamed through the window.

It was two days down the line when I was finally called back to the mountain. I drove Daniel and myself in my Ford F-250. It roared down the highway in the dim light of dawn. It was half an hour later when we arrived back on the base, however another 15 minutes to get down to the briefing room where Hammond waited.

"Colonel, what do we know about these hostiles?" he asked when everyone was settled.

"Not a hell of alot, sir," I replied. "The Abydon boys that survived the fire fight thought it was Ra."

"I thought Ra was dead, gentlemen, which is it?"

"Oh, he's dead, he's definitely dead, I mean the bomb, he's got to be dead right?" Daniel rambled.

"Then who is coming through the Star Gate?" Hammond inquired.

"Gods," Daniel replied, as if this notion just came to him.

"What?"

"Not as in God god, I mean, Ra played a god, the Sun god, he borrowed the culture of the ancient Egyptians he brought through the gate, and then he used it to enslave them. You see he wanted the people of Abydos to believe that he was the only one," Jackson explained.

"So, you're saying that Ra was not the last of his race after all," Carter clarified. My heart flipped as she spoke. I felt like a young boy with clammy hands, and butterflies.

"Maybe he has a brother Kwalski laughed.

"Wait, the legend goes that Ra's race was dying, he survived by taking a human body as a host, who's to say more of his kind couldn't do the same thing?" as he said all of this, it seemed as if the ideas were just hitting him now.

"Colonel, you have the most experience fighting this hostile, assuming you have to defend yourself in the field, are you up to it?"

I nodded, "We beat them once,"

"I will take that as a maybe, Captain Carter, are you confident that the Gate will take us where we want to go?"

"Well, they are feeding the revised coordinates into the dialling computer now. It will take some time to calculate, but it should spit out 2 or 3 new destinations every month." She replied.

"People, let's not fool ourselves here, these things are vastly dangerous, and we are in so far over our heads, we can barely see day light. We'd all be much better off if the Star Gate had been left buried," Hammond told the room.

"With all due respect, sir, we can't just bury our heads in the sand, just think of what we can learn, think of what we can bring back!" her enthusiasm made me want to jump out of my chair and say 'let's go for it!' but I kept my head as Hammond answered.

"What you could bring back is precisely what I'm afraid of Captain, however the president of the United States happens to agree with you." He then proceeded to explain that 9 top secret teams would be formed, in order to research and develop alien technologies that might help humans. "Colonel O'Neill, your team will be designated SG-1. It will consist of yourself, Captain Carter, and..."

"And me," Jackson threw in.

"Dr. Jackson, we need you to work as a consultant with the other SG teams, your knowledge in ancient cultures and languages is far too valuable,"

"No, I know this is your decision, but I really have to be on their team, my wife is out there General, I need to go," I raised my eyebrows at this statement. I had work with Jackson before, he wasn't totally useless, it couldn't hurt to have him stick around. All that mattered to me at this point was that I had Sam under my command, which made it easier for me to keep her safe. I smiled to myself at that thought, but then it hit me that she would be under my direct command.

"I will take that under consideration," Hammond then turned away from Jackson, and towards Kwalski. "Major Kwalski, you will command SG-2"

"I will?!" Kwalski looked as if we were playing a joke on him.

"Colonel O'Neill keeps telling me it's about time you had a command," His shocked gaze turned towards me. I smiled

"I had a moment of weakness," I told him, to which he replied with a thumbs up and a smile that lit up the room. I had been working with Kwalski for years, and I had been telling the truth, it was about time he took a command.

A man walked in the room at that moment.

"Ferretti is conscious, sir," he announced, I jumped out of my chair and was out the door before Hammond could say dismissed. I ran down the stairs to the infirmary with a purpose. I didn't know if it was because I wanted to get on with this mission to rescue Skaara, or if I was genuinely happy that Ferretti was awake at last. Twenty minutes later, he was sitting at a computer with a tub down his throat and bandages all around his head, it was a wonder that he could see us at all.

"You don't look so hot right now, but we need something from you," I told him, and he was already way ahead of me, starting to click madly on the computer. I came around the bed, to see what he was doing; by that time, he'd already entered the sixth symbol.

"You saw all seven symbols? Are you sure this is where they went," I was getting frantic, until Ferretti nodded. I turned to Carter and gave her a slight nod. That nod I knew told her everything. She picked up the computer and rushed it to the gate room. "Ferretti, when you're walking again..."

I didn't finish my sentence, but I high-tailed it out of there. I was in the locker room in moments. There was the locker I had used all those years ago when I went to Abydos the first time. My name was still there. I wrenched it open to find a set of clothing all ready for the mission. I quickly changed out of my stiff service wear, into the more comfortable clothing provided. I was lacing up the intricate black boots as Kwalski rushed in the room.

It was less than half an hour later that SG-1 and SG-2 were completely ready to go. Even Jackson was dressed and ready.

"Colonel, I'd like to remind you that rescuing Dr. Jackson's wife is a secondary objective. In the event that you fail to notify Base camp within twenty four hours, SG-2 will scrub the mission, and return without you,"

"Understood," I said enthusiastically, as we walked towards the gate room. Carter's small frame was walking beside me, her small body practically drowning in the clothing.

"Not going to happen Colonel, SG-2 won't leave without you," Kwalski told me.

"Alright let's confirm transmitter codes; remember, only the right code will open the iris, and if you lose your transmitter, you cannot get home,"

"Understood, sir," Carter replied as we walked into the room. The Star Gate was just locking onto the coordinates Ferretti had given us. Carter still looked in amazement at the worm hole in front of her.

"SG-1, SG-2, if you do not return in 24 hours, your transmitter codes will be locked out, and the iris will be sealed permanently. At that point there will be no return," We moved up the ramp towards the worm hole, and Carter controlled the F.R.E.D through the gate. We then, one by one, walked through the gate.

We were launched out on the other side, as cold as if we'd walked through a blizzard naked, covered in ice. It was as if we had simply walked out of the mountain. The surrounds were so similar to Colorado that we could very well still have been there. The only thing was that there was a ring of stones ascending away from the gate, as if this were some sort of worshipping ground.

"All right, let's get the equipment out," I ordered.

Daniel wasn't as much help as I'd once thought he'd be. After I ordered him to figure out how to get back home, he stood around, taking in the surrounds, explaining to me that my original thought was correct, this was some sort of worshipping ground.

While he was doing that, the others were doing more useful things, like securing the area. I had even sent Carter out to plant C4 around the valley that we were in. One of the airmen returned woth news of a trail that had recently seen traffic. It was time to do this thing.

**A/N: okay, almost there. I know this must be boring, but it's actually fun to write, so =P haha. Hope you enjoyed. Please review! **

**I don't own Star Gate SG-1**


	14. Chapter 14: Catch and Release

**At First Sight**

**Chapter 14: Catch and Release**

We made our way over the gravel covered hills. I noticed that Daniel kept slipping, Carter took a few wrong steps, but other than that, there was no difficulty getting around the rugged terrain. Even the F.R.E.D was having little trouble being navigated over the hills. We were some ways away from the gate when we found a good spot to set up a camp with good cover. That was SG-2's job, they were to wait for us until we returned, and if we didn't they would leave, if we needed help, they would be there.

"If we arn't back in 20 hours,"

"Yeah, we will come rescue your sorry asses," Kwalski replied

"Negative, you will head back to the gate with the combination that Daniel just gave you before the iris is locked so you can't go back. Hold down the fort," I saluted him, and turned on my heel towards the path.

The air was cold and foggy. The trees were covered with traces of frost; we could see our laboured breath as we marched onwards into the foreign territory. We were an hour's walk away from where we'd left SG-2, when the silence was finally broken Daniel, who thought that Sam needed a recount of his life on Abydos.

"Dr. Jackson, tell me more about Sha're," she asked, actually interested in nonsense he was spewing out. "How did you meet her?"

"Sha're, well, she's ....uh..."

"She's a gift," I filled in for him, remembering what had happened back on Abydos the first time, and the shock that Daniel had undergone when Sha're was presented to him.

"She was... ha... actually, from the elders of Abydos, the first time we were there," he answered, a bit nervously.

"And you accepted?" Sam replied, appalled that Daniel would take a woman as a gift. Tired of hearing them talk, I stopped and pretended to have heard something. Lucky I did, because it turned out there really was something lurking in the bushes. I indicated to them to hide as 6 or 7 men dressed in strange leather cloaks, carrying staffs unlike anything I'd ever seen.

Before I could even come up with a plan to ambush them, to eliminate the need for fire, Daniel jumped out in front of the men.

"Oh for crying out loud!" I muttered as Daniel raised his hand in a salutation. Sam and I jumped out from behind the bush, with our weapons raised. Sam had a look of complete concentration on her face that told me she was not afraid of these men.

"We just came through the Star Gate, uh, the, uh Chappai," Daniel stuttered.

At the word Chappai, the men fell to their knees and bowed down to us.

"No! Please don't do that," Daniel muttered as I asked if he knew them.

"Unless we want to get ourselves a really bad reputation, I just think we should avoid shooting the first people we meet on every planet," Daniel explained. My frown deepened. This was why I hated working with scientists. They thought they knew everything and that a military approach to everything was wrong. Daniel ignored my expression of distaste, and turned back to the men who were still bowing to us. Daniel moved towards them, and pulled on of them back onto his feet. The man said something in a language I didn't understand and looked expectantly at Daniel. Daniel's face contorted as he thought about what the man was saying.

"They want to know if we are here to choose," Daniel told me, I shrugged, and Daniel told them that yes, we were here to choose. Choosing was good, right? He then tried to explain what language they were speaking, which, honestly, I didn't give a damn. He then managed to get the men to take us to a village, which they called Chulak. Chulak was a city that looked like it could have been from Rome, built of stone. The men, which Daniel informed me were most likely priests, lead us to a building in the center of the city. It was decorated with leaves, probably ivy or something, but I didn't know enough about botany to know, or care. Inside were people dressed in togas, or something similar, all celebrating. It seemed to me that people off-world were always celebrating about something. These people were seated around a low table on pillows of sorts, the table had an assortment of food that looked vaguely like a turkey dinner, but was clearly not turkey. They sat us at one end of the table, Sam all the while sticking close to my side. Once closer, we could see that all the people at the table bore golden symbols on their foreheads that was hard to explain.

Sam leaned in to ask me a question; I got a whiff of her sweet perfume. She smelt somewhat fruity, like raspberries, or strawberries. I couldn't put my finger on it. "Why are they treating us like this?" she asked.

With a smile, Daniel responded "They think we're gods,"

"Okay, we're gods, what now?"

"I have no idea,"

A man moved in front of the table with a great horn that looked bigger and heavier than any tuba I'd seen, and blew into it. It let out a deep rumbling sound, similar to horns in a shipyard, with a bit more melody. All the people at the table bowed, and Daniel joined them.

"When in Rome," Daniel said when I raised my eyebrows at him. As I started to bow, I rolled my eyes, I thought they thought we were gods, gods don't bow.

Six serpent guards marched into the room, each carrying one of those deadly staff weapons. A Seventh man walked in. He had skin as dark as night, and looked like he could take out an elephant single handed. He wore the same attire as the serpent guards, only he lacked the head piece with the glowing red eyes. On his forehead was a superimposed golden symbol like that on the foreheads of the others at the table. Finally two more people walked in. Both were garbed in gold, like Egyptian gods. The man had tanned skin, like an Arabic prince. Although I could not see the woman's face, something about her seemed familiar.

"Behold," the man said in a deep voice that sounded almost mechanical, he moved in front of the woman and pulled the veil away so her face was revealed to the room, "Your queen." He moved away, and I recognized the woman immediately, it was Sha're. She stood with a poise that was not common for Sha're, she looked down on the people at the table with a superiority that wasn't there the last time I'd looked upon her. Daniel jumped up from his position.

"You will kneel before you're queen!" the golden man demanded.

"Sha're, it's me!" Daniel begged. Sha're looked at him, and then I saw it. Her eyes glowed, like Ra's once had. The man raised his hand, and suddenly Daniel was sent flying across the room. As I looked closer, I could see a similar hand device as the one Ra had used, with the ruby in the center and the golden ribbons. I quickly raised my gun, aiming to kill the man, but Sha're moved in front of him, shielding him with her body. I hesitated a moment too long, and I felt a sharp pain in the base of my skull. The pain resonated through me, I was unable to move as warmth ascended through my body. I could feel myself falling to the ground. The last thing I thought of before I blacked out was, is Sam okay?

I woke up next to Sam on a dirt covered floor in a dimly lit room. The room had stone walls, and the little light that was streaming through was cold light from outside. There was voices of many people in the room. I panicked, looking for my gun, which had been taken away from me, along with everything else, my radio, my grenades, everything. The only thing they'd left was my watch, which stated we had just under two hours. I flopped back down on the ground, which was a mistake. My head was pounding, and I could feel the beginnings of a bump forming at the base of my skull. The pain was unreal.

"Carter," I whispered, hoping she too was awake. "Carter!" still no response from her. I sat up slowly this time, and dragged my butt across the floor to get myself closer to her. I rested a hand on her shoulder and took a chance to catch my breath. My heart was racing. Under different circumstances this would have been a dream come true, but now as I saw her there with blood trickling from her neck and a look of pain on her face, I realised that I has already failed her. I shook her shoulder. "CARTER!"She jerked awake. Her eyes filled with a fear I never believe was possible for her.

"Colonel?"

"Carter, we are in a jail cell somewhere, we have very little time to get out of here before they lock us out. They've taken everything."

"Shit," I raised my eyebrows. "Sorry, sir,"

"No worries,"

"Where is Dr. Jackson?" she asked.

"For crying out loud," I muttered, having completely forgotten about him.

We looked around for a minute, the Sam finally found him among the people that were in the room. The people were dressed in many different fashions from ancient times in our own civilization. There were people dressed like ancient Chinese, some natives to North America, although many were dressed like the Abydonians. Sam woke up Daniel, and explained the situation to him, while I looked for a way out, which seemed mostly counterproductive, seeing as we were in a jail cell.

"Well, if there is a way out of here, I didn't find it," I informed them when Jackson was at last on his feet. "But look what I did find." I motion over my shoulder as Skaara moved through the crowd, and threw himself into a hug from Daniel.

"O'Neill told me about Sha're," Skaara told him, and that seemed to snap Daniel back into the present.

"Jack, you have to help me find her,"

"Daniel, don't, if we can't find our way out of here, the mission's a bust anyways, we need to be back at the gate in about 90 minutes. C'mon Skaara, let's find a way out of here," I stood up, only to have my arm grabbed by one of the serpent guards.

"What is this?" he asked, indicating my watch. His voice was deep and invoked terror even in me. His grip was so strong that pain was radiating through my already sore arm.

"It's a watch," I told him through gasps of pain. He lowered the serpent head piece to reveal that he was the man who had entered the room before, the elephant man. He wore the same stoic expression as he had before.

"This is not Goa'uld technology," he informed me. "Where are you from?"

"Earth," was my only response. What else was I supposed to say, "Chicago, if you want to be..."

"Your words mean nothing, where are you from?" That was Daniel got back to his feet and butted in the usual Daniel Jackson style. He then drew the earth point of origin symbol in the dirt. The serpent guard crossed out the picture, let go of my arm, and walked away. I was shocked, confused. I didn't understand.

Since he left us alone, Skaara and I continued to look for a way out, I climbed up the walls to the small windows that surrounded the room. It was getting frustrating, it was looking like there might not be a way out of this mess.

"You will rescue Sha're?" Skaara asked as I moved to the next window.

"I can't promise anything at the moment,"

"But you are a great warrior, we defeated Ra together!" Skaara insisted

"Yeah! I know! But take a look around here! Look what we are up against!" I snapped, not trying to scare Skaara away, but trying to get my frustrated point across, unfortunately, I did scare him a bit, so I put my hand on his shoulder and told him I would try.

At that moment, the great doors to the cell opened, aany serpent guards entered the room, we crossed back to where Sam and Daniel were sitting talking about who this man was. The guards moved in, followed by the one who had asked me about my watch, his serious face scanning the prisoners in the cell. The guards stopped in a line, as the one man yelled at the prisoners something I didn't understand.

"What did he say?" I turned to Skaara and asked.

"They are going to choose," he said, disgust flavouring his every word.

"Choose what?" Sam asked, her panic escalating.

"Who will be the children of the gods," Skaara finished. A few more men entered the room carrying a carriage, from which the man Daniel claimed to be Apophis climbed out. He pulled Sha're out. Daniel lost it again,

"Jack, help me please," Sam and I restrained him as the men came through the cell, pushing everyone to their knees. I obeyed reluctantly. More of the well dressed people like Apophis came into the room, and started choosing people, and taking them away. Daniel snapped at last, attempting to attack the last of the people to walk by.

"How much would I remember if you chose me?" he asked, tears streaming down his face.

"Daniel, what are you doing?"

"Something of the host must survive!" Elephant man shook his head sadly.

The man Daniel attack spoke, "We chose, him," he indicated Skaara, for the first time I tried to disobey these men, grabbing on to Skaara as he was pulled off screaming. I was knocked over by a staff weapon. When at last Skaara's screams could no longer be heard, Apophis gave the order.

"Kill the rest,"

Screams erupted from the people as the Serpent Guards advanced, activating their staff weapons. My brain moved in to overdrive, calculating a way to get out of this mess, my eyes feel on the elephant man, who was hesitating. He moved towards the other serpent guards as if trying to stop their firing on the innocent people.

"I CAN SAVE THESE PEOPLE!" I cried towards him. Elephant man spun around, his weapon active and pointing at my chest. "Help me," I begged as we stared each other down. Adrenaline was pumping through my veins, and all I could think about was Sam. Where was Sam, was she staying out of trouble. Would this be enough to get her back to earth safely?

"Many have said that," he replied, he answered, his eyes narrowing. My face fell as I realised that he might not help us. I wouldn't be able to save Sam, and one day maybe tell her the truth. I wouldn't be able to save these people, screaming in fear, kidnapped from their home worlds. However, I gave up too quickly, because in the next instant, the man turned his weapon on the nearest serpent guard and shot. The guard fell heavily to the ground. "You are the first who I believe can do it!" He threw his weapon at me, and dove to retrieve the one from his fallen comrade. With another well aimed shot, he knocked over a second, and I quickly aimed and shot down a third. Instead of trying to eliminate us, the guards shot some of the people, 4 of them were dead. I had failed myself. The man quickly shot the two remaining guards. When at last they had fallen, I aimed my weapon at the back wall of the cell, and fired, one, two times. Carter jumped to her feet from her hiding place behind a rock, and helped me usher the people out the hole that was now in the wall. It was a flood of people all running out, and then the cell was empty. The glowing eyes of the serpent guards were extinguished. The man walked slowly across the battle field.

"Hey, come on!" I called.

"I have nowhere to go!" he replied, his face no longer filled with anger, but with sadness.

"For this," I told him, "You can stay at my place. Now let's go!" He took one last look around, then jogged towards the hole in the wall.

Once outside, I asked, "What's your name?"

"Teal'c"

"Teal'c, where will they take Skaara, the boy?"

"The Star Gate, once they have chosen hosts for their children, they return home," he explained as we jogged after the refugees. Time was running short, and we were leading them over the hill, only a couple minutes from the camp.

"We still have everyone?" I asked Sam.

" We lost a few in the forest,"

"They will be hunted down and killed," Teal'c informed us. "Anyone who does not serve the gods, is there enemy,"

"And that makes you?"

"I am a Jaffa! Bred to serve, so they may live,"

"I don't understand," Daniel replied. At that, Teal'c stopped in his tracks, and opened a small hatch on his chain mail. He had one of those marsupial pouches that the aliens that attacked the SGC had, but inside his was a monster. It looked like an eel and a leech had crossbred, and gone horribly wrong. It's pale slimy skin was enough to make even me gag.

"What the hell is that?" I asked, shocked at what I was seeing.

"It is an infant Goau'ld, the larval form of the gods. I have carried one since I was a child as all Jaffa do," he explained. He was no repulsed by this creature inside him, but rather, he was angry.

"Get it out of there," I told him.

"In exchange for carrying the Goau'ld until maturity, the Jaffa are blessed with perfect health and long life. If I were to remove it, I would die." He said all of this matter of factly.

"If I were you, I'd take my chances, I told him." We continued walking, we were almost at the gate until finally we could see the last hill. Teal'c pulled me aside.

"The boy you seek is no longer who he was," he informed me.

"I don't want to hear that," I told him, then continued to help the men and women scramble over the loose gravel towards the gate. As we crested the hill a great ship flew over our heads, firing staff blasts at the people. Many were getting injured by the blasts. Teal'c and I hid in the bushes, shooting at the glider with the staff weapons we both still carried. Almost no damage was inflicted by the weapons, and the glider flew over a second time.

"Colonel! We are sitting ducks here!" Carter cried over the blasts and screams, she looked at me, terror in her eyes, but I could see past the terror, she was ready to do anything to save these people. I didn't know what to do anymore. The battle was getting ferocious, and our staff weapons were not making any damage.

A great blast came from somewhere behind me, and suddenly, the glider exploded. I turned.

"Kwalski!" Cheering erupted. I walked towards him with a smile spreading across my face. "Nice shot! How many are there?"

"A dozen or more, they are heading through the gate,"

"What about Skaara?"

"He's with them," I frowned, I had to save him, he was like a son to me. I couldn't lose him. I started running up the hill, sliding on the loose gravel. I was out front as Kwalski reminded me that there was little time. The gate came into view. It was active, two Jaffa were standing on either side of the gate, and three figures moved towards it. The shortest of the three I recognized as Skaara. I ran down, yelling after Skaara frantically. Skaara turned and smiled at me. Then suddenly his eyes glowed that tell tale glow, he raised his hand, and I saw the hand device glow. Shit, was my only thought as an energy blast from the hand weapon sent me flying 15 feet backwards. AS I lay on the ground in pain, Skaara walked through the gate, followed by the others. I stood up. I didn't know which pain was worse, the pain inflicted by Skaara, or the fact that I'd lost another person I cared about. The refugees, and Daniel, Sam, and Kwalski ran down the hill.

"Did you see the symbols?" Daniel asked, out of breath. I shook my head, shock settling over me. My breathing was laboured now; I could see great billowing clouds rise from my mouth. I could feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Colonel, there's movement in the trees, allot of movement in the trees," came a voice on the radio, "we've got hostiles, hostiles headed this way!" I was still in shock, and Kwalski recongnized that and took charge, ordering Daniel to activate the Gate and Carter to be the last man out. That was when I snapped to. Carter couldn't be the last one. I would die before I lost her too.

"Negative, that's my job," I told them. "Captain, help Daniel, once you've sent the signal through, I want you to go through, I want you to tell them we are bringing company."

It was all a blur, those last few moments, as we prepared for the battle ahead. Daniel struggled with the gate as the hostiles started to come out of the trees. I could hear the gun fire and the staff weapons.

"We can't handle them sir!" came a voice on the radio. Crap I thought, and rushed towards the fire fight. Finally the gate was activated, and Carter and Daniel jumped through the gate. In that moment, I prayed to god that we hadn't been locked out yet, but I couldn't focus on that as more and more Jaffa started cresting the hills. I ordered Kwalski to hit the Claymores, which exploded and took out 10 or more Jaffa, but that didn't stop their advances, more and more started appearing on all sides. I ordered men through the gate, finally we jumped through the gate.

As soon as it had started, it was over, and I heard Sam's voice ordering them to close the iris. I could hear impacts on the other side of the iris, and then it was over, I was being hugged from all sides.

"Colonel O'Neill, care to explain?" General Hammond said as they pulled one of the injured men off the ramp.

"Sir, we can use the gate to send these people home!" Carter announced.

"What's _he_ doing here?" Hammond asked, indicating Teal'c.

"General, this is Teal'c, he helped us," I explained.

"You know what he is?"

"Yes sir, I do, he's the man who saved our lives, and if you accept my recommendation, the fourth member of SG-1," Carter looked at me in awe, I couldn't tell if it was the good kind or the bad kind, but I didn't care, I knew I was doing the right thing.

"That may not be up to you," Hammond replied. He turned on his heel and left the gate room. I noticed Kwalski was still sitting on the ramp.

"You alright?"

"Yes, sir," he answered and got up. Orders were being issued from all sides, but all I heard was Jackson say,

"She's out there somewhere Jack,"

"I know," I replied, "And so is Skaara."

"So what do we do?"

"We find them," I replied simply.

**A/N: Alright, hope that wasn't so bad, but guess what! I finally finished the children of the gods part. Now I can work on the rest of the story. Expect to see episodic content again, I hope that's not a problem! **

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**I don't own Star Gate SG-1**


	15. Chapter 15:The Enemies Within

At First Sight

Chapter 15: The Enemies Within

It was a little more than two weeks down the line when the last of the refugees were packed up, and back on their own worlds, but the base seemed to be teeming with more and more activity every day. Staff was starting to get hired at every turn, there were scientists and technicians, all of whom I had known back in the pentagon, the spots on the SG teams were slowly being filled by a whole array of people, mostly military personnel, but like in the case of Dr. Jackson, some of the teams had anthropologists, palaeontologist, botanists, geologists, architects, and linguists, however, most of them had been hired for desk jobs, studying what the SG teams would be bringing back from their expeditions. It was amazing seeing the mountain come to life the way it had been, and it shocked me to think that only a week ago it was running with a skeleton crew.

I spent most of my time on the base now. They had supplied me with a lab that had a room attached to it, much nicer than the room I had woken up in after the Abydos mission. I still pondered how I had come to be in that room. As far as I knew, I had fallen asleep while talking with Colonel O'Neill, did he carry me up five flights to a room? It was an embarrassing thought. I still couldn't believe I'd fallen asleep like that.

I sat in my lab, most of it barren, unlike the lab that I had back at the pentagon, and my home office, but I knew it was only a matter of time before the papers started pilling up and desk space would only be a thing of the past.

For the most part of the time I had been back on earth, I'd been helping return the people back to their home worlds, which wasn't a difficult task, seeing as most of them knew the symbols back to their world. The hard part was how often the Goau'ld sent men through the gate. Every few hours, the blaring sirens that indicated an active worm hole would sound, and Sergeant Harriman's voice over the loud speaker would announce yet another unscheduled off-world activation. Not only that, but General Hammond was taking every precaution, and activating the self-destruct every time. It was frustrating, seeing as there was nowhere to hide from the sirens on the base.

Today was the day that we would be getting our first official mission as SG-1since Chulak. Colonel O'Neill and Major Kwalski were playfully arguing over who would go to what planet, when yet another worm hole engaged. The iris snapped shut and all the technicians went on high alert again. Air men stood at the ready in the gate room, all their weapons aimed at the gate. The sound of things hitting the other side of the iris filled the air, and I winced.

"We aren't going anywhere as long as they keep this up," Kwalski noted outloud.

"They can't keep this up forever," Daniel remarked. "Can they?"

"Once they realise that our gate is impenetrable, they should give up," I replied hopefully, turning to O'Neill. Finally the assault ended.

"Well, there's worse ways to go, I suppose," Jack said in the silence of the control room.

"You don't think they are sending people through do you?" Daniel asked, suddenly concerned.

"Be like bugs on a windshield," I turned and looked at him, disbelieving. That was when Jack suddenly called out to Kwalski, "Hey, everything alright?"

"Headache, took a fist full of aspirin, but it hasn't really helped at all," he replied. O'Neill sent him to the infirmary, just as yet another assault started.

"So this iris is going to hold right?" Daniel asked sceptically.

"Pure titanium, less than 3 micrometers from the event horizon. It won't even allow matter to reintegrate," I answered, trying to prove myself.

"So, this iris is going to hold right?" Jack asked.

"If it dosen't, this whole mountain will explode, so no worries," I answered.

"Ah, good. I feel much better," he answered.

A few hours later, Jack came into my lab, fuming.

"It's not fair," he snapped, throwing himself on the stool opposite from me. I looked up from the note pad I was writing on.

"What's not fair, sir?" I asked.

"Teal'c, they won't let him join SG-1 because the pentagon wants to do experiments on him! He's a prisoner after he saved our lives!"

"Sir, with that Goau'ld in him, he poses a big threat, I guess I can understand..." trying to point out the other point of view on this matter.

"Do you always look at both sides of things?" he asked, "Besides, if it's him turning on us they are worried about, maybe they should try and pay attention for once. I know everything I need to know about him, just from that moment he turned on his god!"

"I agree, sir," I answered, figuring it wasn't worth fighting with him. He ran his hands through his short brown hair, sighed heavily, then peaked through his fingers. "What are you doing?"

"Dr. Jackson and I were going to do a presentation to General Hammond about the Dialling devices." I answered.

"Ah, so, something I can pretend to understand, but never really," we laughed for a moment. "We all long as I know how to work it, I guess that's fine."

It was half an hour later, down in the briefing room with Dr. Jackson that I first noticed the unusual signs. There was Kwalski, walking up the ramp, staring at the gate. Within minutes, Colonel O'Neill was on the scene, talking with a confused Kwalski.

I didn't know what to expect, but it was clear as day when the MRI results came back. Wrapped around his brain steam, and up into his brain. Kwalski lost it, killing the doctor who was taking the MRI, and storming through the halls of the SGC until he arrived at the dialling computer. He was typing in coordinates when I barged into the room.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked, only to be shoved into one of the super computers, I jumped up quickly and started shouting commands. "Close the blast doors!" "Emergency in the control room!" the words were spewing from my mouth without my knowledge. Kwaslski grabbed me from behind, and started strangling me. Suddenly, Jack was in the room, his eyes wide with fear.

"KWASLSKI!" he cried, his face blank. That was when I became his human shield. He started dragging me down the hall. I struggled, but his strength was inhuman. As I struggled relentlessly against him, I could hear Jack ordering men not to shoot, and chasing after us. Suddenly I was in the elevator, Jack only seconds to late, his hands grabbing at the door. "DAMN!" I heard him swear, and then the elevator lurched into motion.

"You know they won't let you out of this mountain alive," I told him, "When those doors open, they will shoot on sight, you know that!"With no response, I flung myself at the phone, and tried to call for Jack, for anyone who could help. I was pulled away from the phone and thrown into the wall with such force; I was out cold before I hit the floor.

I woke up a few hours later on a gurney in the infirmary. There was an IV in my arm and many other monitoring equipment attached to me, all beeping steadily. My stomache turned at the idea of the IV in my hand, but knew it was necessary. When I opened my eyes, all I could see was the concrete walls of the infirmary, I sighed outwardly, disappointed that no one was here to be with me when I woke up. That was when something stirred in my peripheral vision. I turned my head slightly, and my face broke into a smile. There was Jack, sitting in one of those plastic lawn chairs, watching me with a slight frown on his face.

"Sir?" I mumbled.

"Shh, Carter," he whispered, reaching a hand out, then hesitating, he stop short of where ever his destination was, and rested his hand on mine for a moment, then pulled it away as if I'd burnt him. "You're going to be alright. You've got a nasty bump on your head, and a concussion, but other than that, you'll be up and about in no time." My heart started racing, and the machines recorded it. "Calm down, it's okay," he whispered. I tried breathing, but I was just so caught up with him being there. I tried to distract myself.

"Kwalski?"

"He's got a Goau'ld in his head. An immature one. It can only control him for short periods of time."

"Oh my god! Will he be okay?!" I asked, sitting up a bit too fast. I felt queasy from the sudden movement, but slid back down into my bed.

"There's no way to get it out of him," Jack replied quietly. My heart went out to him. I could see the pain on his face, the same pain that filled his eyes when Skaara went through the gate. He had lost another person he cared about. I reached my hand out to him and managed to reach his face before the IV started pulling on me. He glared at the IV for a moment, then his face fell again. "Dr. Jackson will be back again in a bit, Kwalski woke up an hour ago, I should go see him."

My heart skipped a beat. If his friend Kwalski, someone he had worked with for most of his life, and trusted completely, who had a death sentence, had woken up an hour ago and he still hadn't gone to see him because he had been sitting here with me, what did that make me to him? I nodded my head, and the stood up. For a moment he lingered, but he was gone.

When the doctors finally released me, a few hours later, General Hammond had called a meeting. As we all sat at the table in the briefing room, I saw that Colonel O'Neill was extremely agitated. I carefully put a comforting hand on his, but noticed Teal'c watching us carefully, so I slid my hand back under the table, and lowered my eyes. The way Teal'c watched what was happening around him was eerie, but he seemed to already understand many things about the base. That was when Colonel Kennedy walked into the room with General Hammond.

"In light of the days events, Colonel Kennedy, ahs made certain recommendations to my superiors I'd like to share with all of you," I could tell by his tone he was not impressed. "Colonel Kennedy."

"I know that many of you are friends with Major Kwalski, so please forgive me for if what I'm about to suggest is too out there for you. I believe that surgical removal of the parasite might be a mistake,"

"General!" Colonel O'Neill snapped, "This is a waste of time Kwalski doesn't have."

"Doctor Warner, what are major Kwalski's chances of survival?"

"10, maybe 12 percent at most,"

"And the parasite? It is an intelligent being after all, isn't it Colonel? I believe I first read that in your report,"

"The parasite itself will not survive the procedure," the doctor answered.

"So, we are forced to destroy one life in the hopeless attempt to save another, you see the dilemma here,"

"No, I don't" Jack answered.

"My team and I are completely prepared to perform the procedure, we will do our best,"

"Course you will Doctor, don't misunderstand, we all wish that the parasite inside Major Kwalski could be safely removed. But the facts are the facts,"

"I'm sorry," I butted in, starting to understand Colonel O'Neill's annoyance, "what was your point?"

"If we proceed with this operation, will die in vain,"

"If we don't"

"Let's consider that for a moment shall we, these infant Goau'lds are so young, so fragile state, that they require a... uh... what did you call yourself again?" he had turned to Teal'c

"Jaffa,"

"So with lack of a better translation, a what, an incubator? How is it they're so smart,"

"A Goau'ld is born with the knowledge of all the Goau'lds before it," This shocked me.

"Genetic memory?" Daniel answered, "That's amazing."

"Yes it is, all the knowledge of the Goau'lds, I just want you to think about that before we just throw it all away,"

"I've thought about it!" Jack answered, annoyed, "Have you thought about it?" he asked around the table. Everyone nodded, I myself nodding furiously.

"Imagine if we can convince this Goau'ld to share his knowledge with us!"

"A Goau'ld will not willingly share it's knowledge," Teal'c told us.

"He's right!" Daniel jumped in, "I mean they think of us as nothing, they took up the roles of our ancient gods!"

"So, what if we just study it! I mean the most powerful being in the universe is at our doorstep..."

"Just what kind of an officer are you?"Hammond burst out. "As long as there's a chance in hell my officer will come out of this alive, we're going ahead with it!"

"With all due respect sir, I think I'm going to take this up with my superiors!"

"You go right ahead with that! Me, I'll just call the president!" I smirked. Hammond was not a man to cross.

For the next few hours they tested Teal'c's Goau'ld with different anaesthetics. It was a long and tedious process, and I felt for Teal'c as he lay there, that monster protruding out of his gut. When they finally found one that worked well enough they proceeded with the surgery. Jack and I sat in the viewing room, waiting and watching. We both remained silent, But the silence ran deeper in Jack, almost as if he was afraid to talk. It might have been Kwalski's comment right before being put under that threw him off. The only words I spoke were to Daniel who sat beside me.

"At least it's going well," I whispered, fearing I might jinx it.

"Yeah, if we can reverse what happened to the major, there's still a chance for Sha're," we fell silent again. It was fantastic when then pulled the thing out, it was a complete success. Unfortunately, that was where the good news stopped. Since Teal'c now held the only living Goau'ld on earth, Kennedy deemed it necessary to use him as a lab rat.

Daniel and Jack were at Kwalski's bedside, joking with him when I walked in the room.

"Hey, I just heard, they're shipping Teal'c out, Kennedy is taking him with him," I told them, all three men stopped moving in shock. Jack's face fell into a frown, anger radiating from his eyes.

"What for?"

"Study," I answered, "That's Kennedy's word for it,"

"Right, like a damn lab rat! Apparently Kennedy's ethnics are selective!" Jack raged as he stormed out of the infirmary, Daniel on his heels. I was left alone in the room with Kwalski. I didn't really know what to do. On the one hand, I knew that thing was dead and gone, he wouldn't hurt me again, but I still felt uneasy. I compensated by putting my hand on his shoulder in comfort.

"Just in case the Colonel can't talk them out of it, I'd like a minute alone with Teal's before they ship him out," he said when the room was quiet again. "He helped get me through this! I gotta thank him." He took my hand in his, and I felt the uneasiness melt away. This was Kwalski, the same man I had mocked in front of Hammond and O'Neill. He was the brave and noble man I had met a few weeks ago again. I nodded.

"That can be arranged," I told him, and left. I was walking down the halls when I ran into Teal'c. "Teal'c, Kwalski wanted to thank you before you had to leave. If you have a moment, I think you should stop by." Teal'c nodded, and the men who were guarding him nodded as well.

I was almost in my lab again when I heard the sirens go off. It had been a while since the last Goau'ld attack, even Teal'c said that they would stop after a while. I turned on my heel, and ran back to the control room to see if there was anything I could do. As I entered the room, I heard O'Neill give the order I knew he'd wish he never had.

"Shut it down! NOW!" The gate shut down, and I saw as Kwalski's body went limp in Teal'c's arms. I knew in that instant that while struggling with Teal'c they had sent half his brain to Chulak. Kwalski was dead. No, he had died on the table, the Goau'ld now joined him.

The next day, as I stood in front of the active Star Gate with Daniel, no evidence remained of Kwalski's struggle. We were discussing how something of the host must survive when Teal'c walked through the doors to the gate room. He was dressed like an SG team member, with his staff weapon at his side.

"Reporting as ordered," He said to Hammond.

"Sir," O'Neill reminded him.

"Sir," Teal'c added, smiling.

"SG-1 you have a go!"

It was at those words that SG-1 moved towards the gate. I was thinking, The enemy within our ranks was not Teal'c as some believe in the beginning, nor was it Kwalski. It was my love for Jack that would be the enemy within.

**A/N: Well now that I have that out of the way, I can move on =) Look out for the next chapter, which will take place after the Broca Divide incident! **

**REVIEW PLEASE! **

**I don't own Star Gate SG-1**


	16. Chapter 16: Cover Blown

At First Sight

Chapter 16: Cover Blown

"Let me guess! That's where we are going!" Colonel O'Neill butted in as Hammond explained how the coordinates of P3X-797 had been determined.

"Very good, Colonel,"

"Thank you, Sir, I pride myself on my deductive reasoning skills," he answered smugly, with a smile. I raised my eyebrows, and looked at him out of the corner of my eye. I saw him smiling at me briefly, and then turning his attention back to Hammond. I didn't know if he was referring to the fact that thus far I had made it bluntly obvious that I cared for him, or if he was trying to see if I had a sense of humour. I was hoping that it was the latter. I didn't think that I had been too obvious, but then again.

I thought back to our previous 2 missions, our only two missions up to this point, aside from the Abydos and Chulak missions. Already, the four of us worked like a well oiled machine, well, a bit more human than a machine, except on Teal'c's part. I had already been shit-faced drunk in front of the Colonel, and as far as I knew, not given away my feelings (I had passed out before that had been possible). I had been kidnapped, and rescued. I didn't there was another team in the galaxy that ran as smoothly as SG-1 did. In fact the whole SGC ran in much the same way, as was evidence by the briefings.

One of the things I loved about these briefings was the fact that no one really seemed to care much for formalities. There was always some ongoing joke that would play into the briefing somehow. It was always a laugh, and thank god too, for if these briefings were as boring as some of them I had sat through in my life, I might actually blow my cover, and give away my feelings for Jack in a way that there was no need for deductions. I smiled to myself at that thought, thank god that I had some self control.

"In one hour, you will go to the planet P3X-797," Hammond continued after Jack's little outburst as if nothing had happened.

"Can't we call it something a little easier to remember?" Daniel asked. I felt it was my right to defend the official name of the planet.

"It's based on a binary code the computer uses for extrapolation," I explained, not really helping, as Jack pointed out by saying:

"Which makes it much easier to remember," I shook my head and gave him a smirk.

Hammond started again, again as if nothing had happened. Well oiled machine.

"We sent an M.A.L.P probe through, a few minutes ago. Atmosphere is breathable, no detectible radiation, the temperature is approximately 40 degrees Fahrenheit,"

"Can we see the video play back?" Jack asked.

"There is no play back," he muttered, as if hoping no one would notice.

"Why no play back, sir?" he asked, I noticed that Daniel was starting to get a bit edgy.

"It's very dark where the gate resides on this planet," he said, as if hoping that would be enough explanation. This confused me. I was sure that the probe had lights, which I stated. Hammond shook that off too with a carefully worded explanation about how they got damaged in transit. He wants us to go, I realised. This is our one real hope at finding Skaara and Sha're, and maybe even a chance to wipe out this Goau'ld for good.

An hour later, I was standing in front of the gate as it dialled. Jack was fooling around with the thermal night vision goggles that had been distributed to SG-1 and -3. I giggled as he looked over at me, he looked like a bug eyed lunatic. He contorted his face, trying to make himself look more ridiculous, and tried to hold back my laughter.

"Hmm, interesting," he noted.

"What?" I asked.

"Your laugh, I didn't know if you were the kind to snort or not," he answered, those goggles still on his face. It was too much at that point, and I let out a small snort as I laughed harder. "AHA! I knew it!" I blushed, I could feel it all the way down my neck. "No sweat, Carter, I think it's cute." I was taken aback by that comment, but couldn't respond to it, because that was when Daniel ran into the room. Jack pulled his goggles off, and thrust a pair into Daniel's hands.

"This doesn't look like my prescription," was his reply, looking sceptically down at them.

"Thermal Night Vision Goggles," I explained.

"Hey, here's a question!" Jack suddenly said, "Why doesn't the M.A.L.P have a set of these." I laughed again.

"Chevron 7, LOCKED!" came Sergeant Harriman's voice over the PA. I closed my eyes, experience taught me that looking at the work hole as if formed was painful to the eyes. Once active, Colonel O'Neill ordered SG-1 through the gate. The next moment, I was in a dark forest. It was as dark as the darkest night back on earth. The only light was that being emitted by the Star Gate. A light rain was falling from somewhere beyond the trees tops, already starting to soak me through. We pulled on our goggles, and panned out on Colonel O'Neill's order. At first I couldn't hear anything other than our feet moving across the wet forest floor and the rain drops cascading downwards. It seemed so eerie. That was when a twig snapped, and more foot falls reached my ears. Before I could even react, they were on us, quite literally.

I was knocked into the ground by the force of a human body throwing it's self at me. I was being beaten, and so was everyone else. I saw one of our attackers lift a rock over my head. That was when I heard gun fire. The creatures (for the most certainly were not men) ran off into the cover of the forest.

"Everyone alright?" I heard O'Neill call after I picked myself up, and walked towards him.

"Think so," I replied. He moved towards one of the fallen attackers, it was humanoid, it was dressed in matted furs, and it smelt awful. He rolled it over to reveal a face, a human face. Not Homo sapiens. The face of what one expected cave men to resemble.

We found their camp a quarter mile from the gate. They were rallied around a camp fire. They were grunted and throwing things. Typical behaviour, I guessed, of cave men. All except one. A woman clutched a tree fearfully.

"Why does that one female look different," I asked Daniel, who was trying to decide what type of humanoid these creatures were. "She looks more human." At that moment, one of the larger male creatures moved towards her. He pulled her away from the tree and right before our eyes raped her. Daniel tried to explain why, when suddenly rocks came flying at the camp. Four figures dressed in white were throwing the rocks. At a slight motion of O'Neill's hand, we had them surrounded, and moved in on them.

After double checking that they were not Goau'lds, the people explained that they were the untouched. They lead us back to a place they called the land of light. They lead us out of the forest, carrying the girl. We walked out of the forest, and suddenly it was bright as day. The city was decorated with bulls. Bulls were everywhere. Even the room which they brought us too had two bulls facing each other at the far end, where they placed the girl. She was laying down, sobbing.

"Is she going to be alright?" I asked.

"I do hope so," one of the men replied. "She's my daughter."

"What's her name?"

"She is called Melocha. I can only hope we rescued her in time from the hands of the touched, we must now wait and see if she has been cursed by them," They then explained that the touched, the monsters in the 'land of the dark', were people who had been cursed by the gods of the underworld. Jack continued to question them about their gods, which they stated had not been seen or heard of for a generation. That was when Jack ordered us back to earth, much to my dismay. I had wanted to learn more about these people, what had happened, and such, but Jack was too much of a business man. My heart fell a bit. If he was this willing to stick to one simple mission objective, that left no room what so ever for him to want to even think about breaking a fraternization rule.

It was back on earth during the debriefing, which Daniel and I were explaining the Broca Divide to Hammond and O'Neill, when everything changed.

"Dr. Jackson, you're wasting your breath! You've already won the argument," my face broke out into a smile as Daniel took a moment to realise what he had just been told.

"But I have to insist... wh..what...what?!"

"The president agrees with you. He's asked that we evaluate the scientific and cultural value of each mission from now on,"

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Jack muttered, and for once, I couldn't have disagreed more with Jack.

"That's great!" But before the words were out of my mouth, Lieutenant Johnson jumped out of his chair. His face covered with a light sheen of cold sweat, his eyes raving mad.

"I wonder how that thing in your gut would like have its neck ripped in two!" he shouted, gripping Teal'c's collar. Teal'c looked slightly bemused.

"Johnson! Let him go!"

"Not until this Goau'ld apologizes!" he snapped.

Standing up, Hammond ordered "Lieutenant Johnson, take your seat now!" He screamed and with all his might threw his fist at Teal'c's face. Teal'c caught the fist, and in one swift motion, twisted it, and planted Johnson's face on the table.

"General, I would prefer not to hurt this man," he told Hammond, still holding Johnson in a death grip. Three airmen charged into the room, and relived Teal'c, cuffing Johnson in a matter of seconds, and dragged him off to the infirmary.

Less than half an hour later, while discussing the event with Daniel in the gate room, the two airmen threw each other out the window of the briefing room. The glass shattered all over the floor of the gate room before the two men hit the ground. The fell two stories, to the concrete floor of the gate room. Both were dead by the time I reached them, blood dripping out of their mouths, their eyes blank. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Was the entire base going mad? They all seemed drunk, acting irrationally, and violently.

I shook it off while watching the medics remove the two corpses. My head was starting to get fuzzy, I wasn't really thinking straight. My thoughts were filled with Jack. As I walked to my lab, I marvelled for the second time my amazing restraint thus far. The feelings I felt for him were probably never going to be extinguished. I mean, Jack was the reason I was here wasn't he? He had changed my life that summer back in D.C. Jack was my saviour, weather he knew it or not. He saved me in my time of need, it was only right that I should have this school girl crush on him.

I felt slightly intoxicated by the thought of him. Maybe, I thought to myself, maybe I should act on this feeling. I mean why not. Who cares if we have a little fling? No one had to know anyways. The more I thought about it, the better the idea seemed.I looked down at what I was wearing. Well, this wasn't going to impress him much, I looked like a man. No wonder after all this time working together he hadn't made a move on me.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew what I was thinking was crazy, hadn't I just determined that Jack was not the type to break these kinds of rules? And yet, I threw logic out the window, and proceeded to tear apart one of my tank tops and ruffle my hair. There. He couldn't resist me now.

I caught him at the perfect moment. He was in the locker room, shirtless, after finishing a shower. My heart started racing at the sight of him. Wait a little more, I cautioned myself. Part of me was still unsure of why I was blowing my cover like this, but the other part didn't care. He closed the locker, his shirt half on. I was a little disappointed when he rushed to pull it down over his body.

"Carter!" he exclaimed, "Sorry, I didn't know you were in here!" I didn't let him finish. My cover was blown wide open now. No more room for speculations. My lips were on his. They were soft and warm, his breath was sweet. I snaked my tongue between his teeth, for a moment he gave into the kiss, then I felt him tense again, he pushed me away.

"What the hell is going on," he asked.

"I want you," I told him, and threw myself back at him.

"Why, I mean, NO!" He pushed me away again, "Carter, this is a little out of line, don't you think?" I threw him down on the bench, shocked at my sudden strength, but rolled with it, I climbed over top of him, and leaned in for another kiss.

"Don't you want me?" I asked.

"Not like this!" he told me, pushing away again. I kissed him again, he was giving in more and more each second, I could tell he was aware how wrong it was, and he struggled, but at the same time, I could feel his excitement. "CARTER! What's gotten into you!" He rolled me off the bench, pinning me to the ground. I struggled against him, trying to kiss him again. He moved his face closer, whispering to me "It's about time you saw a doctor, doctor," and he carried me off. I was no longer capable to control myself. Every movement I made was no longer thought through, it just happened. Logic was gone, long gone. I fought and I struggled. I even managed to give him a black eye before he finally threw me on a bed and strapped me in. "I need a doctor over here now!" he shouted, and within seconds, three more men were on me, needles bared. I was too busy struggling to care what was happening around me. And then, suddenly, the world went black.

**A/N: Alrighty then. So tune in to find out what happens (although you all know anyways) **

**I Don't own Star Gate! **


	17. Chapter 17: Found in Translation

At First Sight

Chapter 17: Found in Translation

I walked out of the infirmary; leaving Sam tied to the bed with two of the stronger doctors holding her down until the sedative took effect. I was close on Dr. Fraiser's heels as she walked me down a hallway with 6 isolation chambers. There were guards everywhere. Fraiser opened the slid to the nearest door, and I looked in. Johnson was hissing at us from inside, his brow ridge was more prominent than before, and he was starting to sprout a unibrow. His eyes still held that madness that had been there when he attacked Teal'c, the same look that was in Sam's eyes when she came on to me. The bed was torn to pieces.

"Any idea what's causing this?" I asked.

"Wish I knew," she answered, "I've got calls to every specialist in the service, but I have a hand tied behind my back because of the need to know classification of the Star Gate. And it's spreading."

I opened the slid to the next door; there was one man inside, beating the concrete wall with his bare fists. Blood stained the walls as he beat relentlessly.

"I've never seen a behavioural disorder like this, all the victims are acting like animals," The man then knocked over the bunk bed that was in the room with a furious cry.

"You think Carter has the same thing," I asked hopefully.

"The behaviour fits. All the victims are behaving like primitives. Most low level female primates tend to choose their sexual partners according to who would give them the strongest off-spring, the leaders of the pack, or tribe, are usually the prime choice. You should be flattered."

"Oh, yes, I'm honoured," I answered as we walked away from the hall.

Sam filled my mind for a moment. Once again, I'd failed to keep her safe. She was now turning into a monster, and the doctors had no idea what to do. While that part of me was distraught that I had failed her, again, the other part of me was in blissful shock. Under any other circumstances, I would have been pleased that she was all over me like that.

I wandered around for an hour, not really doing anything, just trying to distract myself, trying to get Sam out of my head. I still was trying to wrap my head around what she had done. I wandered up and done the corridors, watching as a few more men and women were dragged off to the infirmary. It was hard to watch these people lose their minds. These were some of the brightest of the earth, and here they were, losing it. I didn't really have any place to go, so I made my way to the control room. I soon found myself there, examining the controls and such trying to distract myself. I still couldn't get Sam out of my mind. Daniel walked up behind me, his hands full of papers, which made no sense to me.

"Jack, there you are, I went on the internet to do a bit of research, and... wow what happened to you?"

"Got into a little wrestling match with Carter," I shrugged, hoping Daniel wouldn't look into it too deeply. Unfortunately, he did.

"Why?"

"I guess she's got whatever Johnson's got," I sighed. "I had to drag her off to the infirmary."

"What, she start a fight with you like Johnson did with Teal'c?"

"No, uh," I could feel the blood rising in my face. "She, uh, tried to, uh, seduce me." Daniel looked me up and down again, confused then replied:

"Oh, you poor man," damn, had he caught on too?

"No, it wasn't like that, she was like a wild animal, she was nuts!"

"Is she alright? I should go see her." At that, something inside me snapped.

"Why?" I scoffed.

"What do you mean why? Because I care about her," Daniel answered, getting more and more confused by the second. I on the other hand could feel my blood boiling. I grabbed his shirt.

"You care about her?" I growled. "What does that mean?"

"It means I care about her, she's a friend. Now let go!"

"She's not yours to care about," I snarled. I didn't know what was possessing me to do this. I was blowing my cover.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Daniel was starting to get scared. Good, I thought. He won't ever touch her if he's scared of me.

"I'm talking about Samantha," just saying her name made my heart skip a beat. "You just stay away from her okay?"

"Okay, Jack, I think you should come with me to the infirmary," Daniel was catching on to something, but I didn't care, "Just let go of me..." I threw my fist at him. Knocking him into a cart full of I was sure expensive equipment. I ran towards him and started beating the crap out of him. It felt so good, the rush, I was finally doing something to defend Sam, and proving my love for her. Four pairs of arms pulled me off Jackson, the son of a bitch, and dragged me off to the infirmary. Three of the men walked away with black eyes, one a broken nose.

I woke up I don't know how many hours later, fuzzy, but slightly more aware of what I was doing, and where I was than I had been while beating Daniel. My head fell into my hands, I had blown my cover. Now half the base knew of my affection for Sam. Hopefully they would pass it off as part of this disease I had fallen victim to. I howled. It wasn't in pain, but in frustration. I couldn't hold on to this awareness any longer, I had fallen back into an irrational state of mind. I felt drunk, unable to control myself. Doctors rushed in and pumped more sedatives into my blood. I was out again. This process cycled a few more times. On what I believed was the fifth time, they were too slow, and I started throwing myself into the doors, screeching like a banshee. I was vaguely aware that Teal'c and Daniel were with Fraiser when they came to sedate me again. Good I thought. At least I could have a few moments again of rational Jack. I couldn't control myself to the point to let them help me though.

After that, I was left alone for some time. I was able to fight the sedative enough to keep me in a ration state of mind for a longer period. I huddled in a corner silently, listening to the howls of the other victims, and the shouts of the doctors rushing up and down the corridors. Suddenly, my quiet was disturbed by three men dragging General Hammond in. The General was in a straight jacket, doped up pretty bad. Dr. Friaser walked in, and spoke. I understood to a point what she was saying, but had only one thing on my mind. More drugs. The drugs helped, and I wanted to be conscience as long as possible, to help in any way possible, to save my Sam.

"Doc," I forced out. She stopped in her tracks and turned to look at me.

"Did you say something?"

"Give more," I struggled to utter.

"More what?"

"More!" I showed her my arm, hoping this would get it across

"An injection, you mean you want more sedative?" I nodded furiously. "You've already had more than the max safe dose, twice as much as anyone else,"

"Give!"

"No, it's not safe,"

"GIVE!" she gave in, injecting me. I felt the needle, and I passed out for a second. "NOOO!" I cried as I woke up again.

"Colonel O'Neill?" she asked. I nodded, then tried to communicate with her that I wanted her to test me. Finally she gave. And I let the sedative take over, passing out.

When I woke up, I was still partially in control. Teal'c entered the room.

"I'm afraid I lost Daniel Jackson on the dark side of the planet, I am sorry,"

"Colonel O'Neill! I think we may have something!" Fraiser burst into the room. "I was examining the blood sample Mr. Teal'c brought me, and then it hit me! There was very little histamine in the sample. If the people on that planet are human as you say, they have to have histamine in their blood, and as I said before, this virus is histaminalitic, that means it feeds on histamine. The untouched have no histamine, so the microbe couldn't survive in their bodies."

"So?" Teal'c asked, "It is the untouched who become the touched. If they have none of the substance you speak of in their blood, then how is it some of them change?"

"Only some of them must have this low histamine level in their blood, which makes me think that their diet must have some sort of antihistamine in it. Those who don't eat it eventually contract the disease. So I did a little digging. Both Dr. Jackson and myself take strong anti histamines every day. That means I have no histamine for the microbe to feed on, making me immune."

"Does this mean you have a cure?" Teal'c asked. A smile broke out on her face as she lifted a syringe out of her pocket. I pointed to myself. Her smile widened.

"The dose of this to clear the body of histamines for a long enough time may be harmful, are you sure?" I nodded furiously. I had to save Sam. She injected my IV with the antihistamine. I prayed that it would work.

When I woke a few hours later, I felt more like myself than I had in ages. I smiled. I did it! I could save her!

"TEAL'C! DOC! Someone! Open the door!" I banged on the door.

Teal'c slid the window open, and looked in. "Colonel O'Neill?"

"Lucy, I'm home!" I joked, Teal'c raised an eyebrow at me

"I am not Lucy!" he informed me. Oh crap, I thought.

"I know that, it's a reference to an old tv show, just let me out,"

"I will summon the doctor," he told me, turning away to get Fraiser.

"I'm fine,"

"I cannot be certain you are fine, you referred to me as 'Lucy',"

"Oh for crying out loud, just open the door," I made a mental note not to joke around with Teal'c. As he moved towards the door and let me out.

Within 3 hours, the base was up and running again. Everyone had been administered the antihistamine, and no lasting damages were ensued. Even Sam came back too, not daring to catch my eye all the while. I wondered if she was embarrassed, but I didn't tantalize her about it. Not now, there was work to be done, a Daniel to save, again, and a world to save.

"The guns are loaded with darts containing the antihistamine, a direct hit on a touched man or woman should knock them out long enough to starve the microbe," Fraiser explained to a room of cured men and women. "Good luck,"

"Thanks, Doc," I replied, double checking the gun in my hands.

"SO, what, are we going to trank them all?" Sam asked, looking down at her gun.

"All of them that get in our way," we walked through the gate. We quickly located the camp, Daniel sat at the camp fire, gnawing on a bone, with his arm around a woman.

"Guess the antihistamine wore off," Carter noted. I nodded, then crouched lower in the bushes, my finger lightly pulling the trigger back, aiming steadily for Daniel. That was when one of them spotted us, I quickly changed my aim, and shot the advancing Touched. At my response, the others began shooting too, and before long, all of them around the camp fire were out cold, except Daniel, and the girl. I moved forward.

"Daniel, you dog!" I joked, knowing full well he would not understand me. "If you keep this up, you'll have a girl on every planet!" Carter pulled a syringe out of her pocket, and advanced on him, he jumped at her, and before he could harm her, I shot him directly in the chest with a dart. He collapsed to the ground.

"Teal'c you carry him, we're going to the land of light," I informed them.

"That would not be wise,"

"To bad!" and I started walking through the forest. Finally we arrived back in the city of the land of light. The people looked at us in disgust as we walked towards them.

"What are you doing, you cannot bring the touched among us,"

"Leave now!"

"Just hear us out," I told them, Carter moved forward.

"We've found a cure," she told them.

That was when Daniel woke up. He looked awful, but human again.

"Where are we?" he asked, tenderly lifting his head.

"The light side of the planet P3X-797," Teal'c answered, putting him on his feet, and handing him his glasses.

"I thought we were giving it a better name,"

"He's back, he's normal!" I announced to the people. Their eyes grew wide as they watched Daniel dust himself off.

"Explain!"

"We can... lift the curse," Carter tried.

"Come on, we will show you," The people followed us back out to the woods, just as the Touched were walking out into the light, some for the first time in years. I smiled. I saved not only my Sam, but a whole planet.

"You have done it my lord!" one man cried, falling to his knees. I moved forward, pulled him up to his feet again.

"We'll teach you how to deal with the rest," I told him, still trying to convince him we weren't gods.

I turned back to Carter, who seemed to finally want to face me again. She was standing uneasily, shifting her weight from foot to foot, fidgeting with the straps on her vest.

"Uh, sir, about my earlier behaviour..." I smiled. "I... I wasn't myself..."

"Oh, Carter, I don't even remember your earlier behaviour,"

"You don't" she asked, relieved, I felt kind of bad for deceiving her, but it was all part of my charm.

"No, I was infected to, remember,"

"Right," she sighed, "Good, I'm glad,"

"By the way, how's the wound?" her face fell.

"Wound?"

"I understand you got stabbed in the stomach or something," she let out another sigh.

"Oh, fine, with any luck, there won't even be a scar,"

"Oh, good, I was worried," I saw her face break into a shy smile.

"You were," she sounded flattered.

"Oh, sure, if it doesn't heal properly, you'll never wear that sweet little tank top number again," she stopped in her tracks, with a look of shock on her face. With that, I activated the Star Gate. I jumped in front of it, and smiled before backing through the worm hole. Carter still shocked, but a slight smile graced her beautiful lips.

Back on earth, all personnel were getting a second dose of the anti histamine, just in case. Carter was the last one in the infirmary; she sat on the bed, chatting with Doctor Fraiser. I couldn't really hear what they were talking about, only the sound of her voice wafted out into the corridor. I was walking passed the door when I heard their topic of discussion.

"You know Sam, you were the only one that went after Jack," Fraiser was saying. I quickly jumped out of sight.

"I was?" she asked, somewhat shocked. "I guess that makes sense, I mean, didn't he get infected soon after that?"

"Nice try, actually no. He was fine for about two hours before he was dragged in. Most of the other women went after Teal'c and Hammond. Teal'c I'm assuming because he's so strong, and Hammond because he's in charge around here. But you were the only one that went after Jack. Another strange thing, he was brought in after punching out Daniel, because Daniel said he 'cared about you',"

There was silence for a moment. All I could think was, shit. What was I going to do. Everyone would soon know.

"I don't understand what you are trying to get at,"

"I think you do,"

More silence. It shocked me how women could say so little, but say so much.

"Looks like my cover is blown after all," Sam sighed.

"I won't tell,"

I leaned against the wall, letting out a deep sigh. I didn't know how much longer I could hide this. By becoming a monster I had given away my deepest secret. Instead of hiding it, I showed it to everyone. It was found in the translation.

**A/N: Hope you liked that =) It was fun to write that last bit, that's really what I was trying to get to... but... yeah...**

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**I Don't Own Star Gate! =)**


	18. Chapter 18: Lost

At First Sight

Chapter 18: Lost

Enemy fire was all around us, we were surrounded. There was no way to stop them. I was almost out of bullets.

"Daniel!" I shouted hoarsely. I watched out of the corner of my eye. I had ordered Teal'c and Carter to lay down cover fire along with myself while Daniel dialled home, and he seemed to be taking his sweet time about it. Finally, I saw the Gate Activate. "GO! GO! GO!" I ordered, and Daniel jumped through the gate, Teal'c on his heels. I followed Sam up to the gate. She stumbled up the steps, but kept moving forwards. I wasn't leaving here until Sam was through that Gate. As I watched her dematerialise in front of me, I jumped through to, feeling the heat of an explosion on my backside as I did so. I was thrown out of the Star Gate with a velocity I would have thought impossible. I could see Carter, she was going to hit an out cropping rock, I managed to change her trajectory but pushing her slightly, but put myself on a collision course with the rock. With no time to tuck and roll, I hit the rock, a pain unlike any I could have imagined radiated through me and I black out.

Snow and ice surrounded me. All I could feel was cold and pain. I was no longer in control of my fingers, which clutched the P90 with for dear life. My breath pooled out like a cloud in front of my face in shallow, uneven spurts. The only sounds in this icy tomb were the creaking of the ice that surrounded, and Carter's feet shuffling across the snow and ice. I groaned as I tried to move. I opened my eyes. I was about 15 feet from the Gate.

"Colonel! Thank god," she muttered, rushing to my side, helping me sit up.

"Carter," I groaned.

"Yeah, Sir try to stay still, I think you broke your leg," she informed me.

"No! My leg is definitely broken!" I snapped, the pain was unreal, and the cold wasn't helping. My head was pounding, it hurt to breath and move. There was nothing I could do to keep Carter safe. Carter crouched down beside me, running her hand up and down my leg, looking for a place to start. Normally, this would have been enjoyable, but the pain was unreal. "What's the bad news?" I asked, trying to ignore the pain. "Unless we redecorated the Gate Room, I don't think we are in Kansas anymore,"

"Daniel must have misdialed," She answered, looking around us.

"Misdialed?" I asked, "You mean this place is the wrong number? For crying out loud! Where is he,"

"He's not here, sir, neither is Teal'c,"

"He has to be," I muttered, painfully lifting an arm to reach for my radio.

"I already tried that," she told me, "You've been unconscious for nearly two hours."

"They came through the Gate before we did," I was confused, none of this was making any sense. Where were Daniel and Teal'c.

"I know that, I also think that we're alone here, where ever here is,"

"Ice," was all I could say. Carter continued to talk about things I hardly understood while I tried to move my body into a more comfortable position. Essentially, I understood that we were buried under ice, because the planet was undergoing an ice age.

"We're in trouble, Sir," Carter finished.

"Nonsense! We'll dial home, and straighten all this out... where's the DHD?"

"I can't find it," Carter mumbled

"Oh, so we're in trouble," I acknowledged.

"We're in trouble," Carter repeated. We'll, I thought to myself, at least you get to die in Carter's arms. "Sir, please let me splint that leg," she finally said when I winced with pain, trying to relocate myself. I grimaced. I knew that would probably be more painful in the short term, but if we ever got off this ice cube, it would help immensely. I didn't answer. I just nodded, and took a deep inhale. "This is going to hurt, sir," She took a firmer hold on my leg, feeling up and down for where the break was. She muttered something under her breath.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Nothing, Sir. Okay, on the count of three. One, Two, Three!" On three, she pulled sharply on my leg. The pain was unreal. I gasped, tears sprung to my eyes.

"AH!"

"Alright, I think it's set," She muttered, pulling the splint closer, trying to wrap it under my leg.

"You THINK?!" I cried, the pain was so much I could hardly think straight. All I could see were my last few moments of consciousness, the rock, then nothing.

"I know it is!" She answered, slightly exasperated, and I could hear, she was as close to tears as I was. "We'll just get this splint on, and you'll be as good as new!"

"Just, gently, Doctor!" I told her, taking in deep breaths, calming myself, if not the pain, down.

"Wrong kind of doctor," she laughed nervously. She fell silent, No, I thought, she had to keep talking, her voice was like the beckon at the end of this painful tunnel.

"You wouldn't think that jagged bone in raw nerves would be this painful," I gasped, hoping to provoke her into talking some more. It worked.

"Sorry, Sir, I've never done this before in my life!" She continued to wrap the leg up. "Is this your first broken bone?" I laughed, trying to think through the pain.

"Uh..." I took a sharp intake of breath as she pulled tighter on the splint. "No!" another sharp intake. "This... this would be..." I stopped to think about it, but all that I knew was pain. "nine!" I cried as she gave a quick tug on the splint. "If you count skull fractures," I said quickly, this was good, in the moments I had to think of anything other than the pain, it almost seemed negligible.

"How did you manage that?" Carter asked, pausing for a moment, looking up at me.

I thought about it again. The distraction was enough this time, and I was able to almost completely blot out the pain. "A little parachuting mishap, over the borders of Iran and Iraq back in eighty... AH!" she had started moving my leg again, trying to tighten the splint.

"This is going to hurt, Sir," she started rotating my leg.

"AH! I know, I know, I know!" I started my breathing again, since she stopped talking.

"So, what happened?" she asked. Then I was reliving those days, in that godforsaken desert, I could remember the pain I had felt, much like this pain, dizzying pain that seemed like it would never end.

"I hit the ground! Go figure!" Not that I could remember hitting the ground, just the falling out of the sky, my chute not opening, then blackness, as I fell to fast for my body to handle it. "My shoot wouldn't open. It hurt, just like this," I was gasping, the pain was doing anything but subsiding now. I was holding my head, as if that would force back any tears that dared try to escape. However, I could see a stream of tears rolling down Carter's face. Why was she crying?

"I'm sorry, Colonel!" I could hear it in her voice now. "I'm doing the best I can!"

"I know you are Captain, can you just hurry up?"

She tried again with the conversation, "So you hit the ground, and?" She turned my leg again. The pain caught me off guard this time.

"THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!"

"Almost there,"

"NO YOUR THERE!" She stopped at last. The pain was still there, but at least it wasn't getting worse any more. My breathing got ragged. I heard her give a slight whimper, as if she was fighting back the tears. Was she crying because she was causing me pain? No, she shouldn't be. I was going to get her out alive, even if I didn't.

"How long before you were rescued?" she asked.

"No rescue. It wasn't exactly an official mission. I made it to a village about 9 days walk from where I crashed. There were some Canadian peace keepers. They thought I was just some fighter pilot that had crashed some time ago and managed to drag myself there,"

"Wow, what got you through it?" she asked. I thought about it for a time. I knew that it was the image of her face, having to see her one more time, that had gotten me through it. But I couldn't admit that. Nobody knew the truth about those nine days in the desert, how my dreams were plagued with Samantha's face. So I fed her the same lie I fed everyone else.

"Sara," I watched Sam's face fall. I could feel that same heart break that I used to see on Sara's face every time I would leave on a mission, only this was different, I couldn't put my finger on why.

"Your wife?" she whispered.

"At the time," I replied. I never really understood why I had married her. I guess it was because she was so similar to Sam, at least in appearances. The love I felt for Sara was not at all like the love I felt for Sam. Sam had always been in the back of my mind, a guiding light, my beckon. I knew there was little chance that we would ever cross paths again, after I left Colonel Carter's command. So I turned to the next best thing. My love for Sara wasn't really love, it wasn't even really lust. She had been a backup plan. "I had to see her again." I left it at that, turning to ask about our supplies.

"We have enough food for three days, but that can be stretched out. We have very little drinking water but..." she motion around us.

"Ice melts," I finished the thought. She continued to list off things we had. It looked good. If we could find the DHD, we could get home, both of us. "By the way, Captain. We're going home. That's an order," Sam dropped her eyes. I could tell she thought there was no way in hell we were getting off this ice cube, but if I knew Sam, she would find a way. "Captain, you have to believe me," I told her. She looked up at me. Her eyes were newly wet, her face held in a deep frown.

"I want to, Sir," she replied. "I just don't see how," Tears poured over her face, but she quickly wiped them off with her sleeve.

"Then we better start looking for a way!" She nodded furiously, a habit I knew was common among women when they were trying to hide the fact that they were crying. "I'll be damned if I die on some god forsaken ice block, thousands of light years from home. Now, help me up. My butt is freezing to the ground." She nodded, and pulled me to my feet. I wrapped my arm around her, and leaned as little weight as possible on her. It felt so right, standing there with my arm around her. We fit together like two puzzle pieces. I looked down at her. She was still crying, so I pulled her closer into a hug. We were going to get out of here.

"We better get started then," she sighed, her voice muffled by my jacket. I held her for a moment longer. If it came down to it, I wouldn't tell her the truth about my feelings. It would only make her feel guilty if she got out of here and I didn't, and if we both got out, it would either make things awkward, or difficult.

So, there I was, I hobbling around the little ice room we were trapped in, looking for the DHD. Carter was on her hands and knees on a small outcropping that was a few feet higher than my head, dusting off snow.

"So, Carter. Why did you join the military? I seem to remember a young girl who wanted nothing to do with the military," I broke the silence after getting bored of looking. She said nothing for a while, and just continued to dust off the outcropping. Her breathing was laboured from the thin air we were trying to breath.

"Well, sir, to be honest... I don't really know. Before my mother died, I hated everything to do with the military. I hated how it controlled my father, I hated how it tore apart my family day by day, I blamed it and my father for what happened to my mother. But then, one day I met someone. He showed me that military wasn't so bad. He showed me the light in the darkest situation of my life. So I joined the military. I gave myself the second chance that everyone else was trying to make me see." I could tell she was leaving something out, but I left it, instead I laughed.

"I hope you aren't talking about me, Captain," I joked, "I would hate to have been the reason that you formed all these false notions about the military."

"Sir, you didn't help me form these notions. I formed them based on the experiences you and my father had told me about. You helped me realise that it wasn't the military I hated, just my father's love for it." It fell silent again. "Sir, I found it! The DHD and it looks intact!" she cried excitedly! I climbed up over to her. It hurt more than I would have liked, and I took a moment to give into the pain.

"Can we dig it out?"

"Well, if it doesn't work, we can use the chopped ice to melt drinking water," Carter replied, I figured she was trying to look on the bright side of this situation. She pulled out her dagger, and started ferociously digging away. I doubled over in pain silently, trying not to let her see I how weak I was.

"What's wrong?" she asked, concerned.

"I...I think I cracked a rib too," I gasped.

"Why didn't you say something?"

"I was afraid you'd try and splint it," Her face fell, "Don't worry about it, I'll be fine!" and to prove it, I pulled out my dagger, and started digging with her.

"So, I've been thinking about where Daniel and Teal'c might be. So far I have three explanations. One: Daniel misdialed, and there here, somewhere. Two: Daniel didn't misdial, but for some reason the Star Gate malfunctioned during transit, they got sent back to earth, but for some reason we got sent here. Three: the Star Gate malfunctioned, we got sent here, Daniel and Teal'c got sent somewhere else."

"What's four?"

"There is no four,"

"What's after three then?"

"Not this time," she answered.

"Alright, assume they made it back to earth. They'll start sending search parties,"

"To where?"

"Here, I hope," I started digging again.

"Where would they beginning? They have no idea where we are! It could take ten years for them to find us, probably more!"

"Not if they look here first!"

"Even if all the SG teams started looking right now, the mathematical probability of them finding us..."

"CAPTAIN!"

"Sorry, I think too much," I nodded. She ducked her head, and busied herself with digging.

As I boiled water over a small fire fuelled by small propane packs we'd brought with us, the only sound was Carter frantically digging with only a dagger through 2 feet of ice. A DHD was somewhere buried under the ice and snow Carter relentlessly carved through. She wouldn't stop, I knew as much. If she didn't get that DHD out, there was no other way home for us. We would die here on this god forsaken ice planet.

The pain in my chest worsened, and a sharp pain radiated through my body as I shifted my weight slightly. If we ever got home, I doubted even Doc Fraiser could fix this. My leg was broken, and even Carter's makeshift splint wouldn't do me any good anymore. Luckily, I was so cold, that the pain was almost negligible, of course, unless I moved.

My only concern at this point was whether or not Carter could get home. She deserved to go back, and live. I was hardly worth the effort, but in her eyes, she wasn't leaving without me. That's the way things had been at the SGC. Never leave a man behind. We all get home, or none of us. In over 20 missions, only a few men had been lost to us, and it certainly wasn't due to lack of trying.

But now, here we were, stranded on some rock in our galaxy, we had no idea where, with half our team missing, broken, and freezing to death. Our chances of survival were minimal, unless Carter could get the Gate to work.

Sam and I spent hours talking, just talking, about nothing in particular. Sometimes we laughed about missions that had gone comically awry, or sometimes we'd talk about something Teal'c had said. But no matter what, I refused to let her know about how I felt for her.

"Soup is on!" I called to her. We had both decided it was best if I limited my movements around the small room. Sam didn't want me risking a completely broken rib when there was nothing she could, or would, do.

"Just a minute, I'm almost through!" she called back, her chipping through ice never ceasing.

"Come on now, you don't want it to get cold," She came over carefully, saying that she had no idea that I could cook. "I can't," I informed her, "But my melted ice is to die for!"

"So, I've been thinking about how the Gate might have malfunctioned," she told me. "Now, we don't completely understand how it works, but we do know that two gates create an artificial wormhole through which energized matter is transmitted. Now, I think that the matter stream between the Star Gates got redirected, like a lightning bolt, jumping from one point to another mid strike. I figure it had to be the attack on P4X-771, the Gate itself must have been struck with enough energy..." I wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying anymore. It didn't matter how it happened, just that it did, and that someone would have to figure it out back on earth in order to find us. The pain was no so bad anyways that nothing really mattered outside of it. "Colonel?"

"Sorry, I wasn't paying attention,"

"What I'm saying is that we must have emerged from a Star Gate relatively close to earth,"

"That's good news," I whispered.

"Sir, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Carter," I answered, quietly.

"On Argos, why did you do it? Why did you sleep with her?" she asked, somewhat guarded. I stumbled slightly, feeling pain shoot up through my leg. I held back the gasp, and thought about her question. Argos was probably going to be a mission I would never forget. I didn't know what had made me act so stupidly. Not only did I put my life in danger, I threw away any chance I had of winning Carter over.

"Well, Captain. I would love to tell you I had no idea, I don't really...." I took a deep breath, trying to talk past the pain. "I think it was a number of things. First and foremost I think that I was intoxicated, not thinking straight," I looked over at her, she was watching carefully as I explained, her eyes full of that same sadness that had plagued them when I lied to her before about Sara. "I just wanted the pain to go away," I mumbled.

"Colonel?" She asked, "I wish I could do something to make this less painful for you,"

"Nothing can,"

"The pain is making you delirious." It might have been. "What pain were you talking about?"

"The pain of knowing I could never have..." I stopped midsentence. I wasn't that out of it yet. "Carter, it hurts to talk."

"I'll get back to work, Sir," she replied, finishing off her soup, then climbing back up to the DHD.

It was probably 5 or 6 hours later of hard labour, which, when I could manage, I would help, when we finally uncovered the DHD from snow and ice. Not only did talking hurt now, but breathing hurt. I was coughing and hacking, which made it all even more painful.

"This has to be the point of origin," Carter gasped, pointing to one symbol neither of us recognized. "I guess it's now or never,"

"I would...prefer... now...to never," I spluttered out, then relapsed into a coughing fit. This time, blood found its way out onto the snow in front of me. My whole boy was burning with pain now.

"Here it goes," Carter said, and then started dialling. All seven symbols engaged, she hit the center button. The Gate was all lit up, it was making all the right sounds and then. Nothing. The lights went out. "DAMMNIT!" Carter swore, tears making their way to the surface again. "Sir, it's got to be the control interface. If I can dig down to the control panel, I can fix it. I know I can!"

"Negative! We've been awake for far too long Carter. It will be there in the morning." At that, I started coughing again, pain shooting up from everywhere.

"What about you," she whispered, tears actually pouring down her face now.

"I told you we were going to get out of here! It's just going to take longer than we thought!" I replied.

"Yes Sir," she sobbed. With that I passed out. My world was black.

**A/N: Well, there you have another chapter. I'm hoping that I can write another tonight and have it posted by tomorrow. I would like to have some reviews =) I know there are people reading this. I mean, I have a heck of alot of story alerts, and so far, only a few of you are reviewing any more. For crying out loud! PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! I would love you forever =) BTW, let me know if the length of the Chapters is good, or if there's anything you'd like to see me do. Ie, different POV (Daniel, Teal'c). Also, if there is no objection, I may have to change the rating of this story, I'm thinking that soon I may have to make Jack and Sam break a few rules. This sexual tension is killing me!! If you are against that completely please let me know and I wont go there! =) **

**I don't own star gate SG-1**


	19. Chapter 19: Revelations

At First Sight

Chapter 19: Revelations

I woke up in a slight panic. My heart was racing. It took me a moment to remember the events of the last, I didn't even know how long it had been. More than 24 hours had passed for sure. I took in the room around me; it was slowly coming back to me. I Inhaled deeply, feeling a slight resistance, and a sharp pain. I looked down, my heart raced faster. Carter had curled up as close to my body as physically possible, leaning her head on my shoulder. I dropped my head back. I had only dreamt of this happening, waking up to Carter's beauty cuddled up beside me. Of course it had to be in the most dire situation, where most likely she had done this to keep me warm enough to live through the night. I tried to breathe again; the pain was only worse this time. Damn, I thought, I have to move her. My strength was gone. I could barely move myself, let alone her.

"Captain," I mumbled, she groaned slightly. "Captain!" at last she started moving. "As much as I think this is nice..." It was hard to talk, I had to take deep breaths between each word.

"Shh, try to sleep," she told me, "You're exhausted, you passed out. I thought we'd need to combine body heat to make it through the night,"

"Oh, that's fine. It's just, it's hard to sleep with broken ribs, when someone is lying on you," I explained, regretting my words more and more, but knew it was necessary.

"Sorry," she mumbled, then moved her weight off me, but still clutched my body close to her.

"That's better," I gasped.

"We'll sleep for a few hours, then I'll fix the DHD," she informed me.

"Okay, night," my heart soared as I spoke those words.

"Night," she whispered back. As much as this was out of necessity, I was sure that had we encountered a situation where we'd been stuck on a dessert planet, we would have ended up like this anyways. Even if I didn't tell her the truth, she knew it, or at least hoped. As we started to drift back into sleep, her hand slid down from the awkward position she was holding it in. Her arm was around my waist, and I could feel my body responding to her presence so close to me. Stop, I ordered it, but it didn't.

"Um, Sir?" Carter mumbled.

"It's my side arm... I swear," I joked, she knew as well as I did that that was an outright lie. We laughed for a second, but pain erupted again. "Okay, no giggling," I felt her smile on my shoulder, and then she moved closer.

"If we don't make it," she whispered, "I won't regret this,"

"I'll regret dying," I replied, "Without knowing what this could become." I left it at that, and fell back into my slumber.

I didn't know how much time had passed when I was conscious again. I wasn't really awake, just awake enough to be aware of Carter. Carter was still clutching herself close to me. I moved my arm over her, and held her too. For a long moment, we lay there, in each other's arms. I didn't want this feeling to end. I hadn't even felt this kind of passion with Sara. I was in and out of consciousness for the next several hours. I was aware when Sam got up and checked my leg again, swearing violently when she saw the irreversible damage the cold had done to it. She lit the last of the cooking propane to keep it warm and carefully wrapped it up in more blankets. I was aware of her mumbling to herself as she dug deeper around the DHD.

"I can't let him die," she muttered. "Not after everything he's done for me!" Sometimes she would shout at the DHD. "WHY?" or "This isn't going to work!" every now and then, she would let out a cry of frustration, I could hear her sobbing for long periods of time. "Jack, I'm doing everything I can. I'm doing my best! I did my best!" My heart would skip a beat when she would say my name. It seemed to be a motivator for her. "Jack," she would whisper, and then I would hear her move around, and start doing whatever it was that she abandoned.

"WHY WON'T YOU WORK!" she yelled a few hours later. I was awake now. I reached for my radio.

"Carter?" I whispered into it. I could feel that there's almost nothing left inside me. Just cold and pain. All sorts of pain. The pain of knowing I couldn't be with Sam. The regret of never knowing what a relationship with her could be like. I heard her scramble to her feet, and slide down to my side.

"Sir," she whispered.

"I'm usually the first one up," I joked.

"You're bleeding internally, I don't know how badly, you're broken leg might be frost bitten, I can't tell, I've been trying to warm it up,"

"What's the bad news?" I asked, trying to keep the situation light, seeing as Carter was so close to tears again. "Help me up,"

"No, Sir, you need to heel. That's an order," she told me. I smiled.

"Hey, I give the orders around here,"

"Not Doctor's orders,"

"Oh,"

"Here drink as much of this as you can," she told me, moving the pot filled with melted ice towards me. I drank as much as I could, coughing as the cold water went down. It stung. "I should have gotten you out of here by now! I'm sorry"

"You will!" I told her, as much for her benefit as my own.

"I've been working on the control panel for 12 hours now. It should work, I don't understand what's wrong. It should work! I'm missing something." My heart fell. There was no way both of us were getting out of this alive if she couldn't get that Gate to work.

"Captain, I think it's time that we start thinking of plan B," I whispered.

"What's Plan B?"

"You take the rest of the supplies to the surface, and take your chances."

"No, Sir, I can make the Gate work, I know I can!" She got up, and started working again. I hoped to god she would figure it out. She was my only chance at survival. This time, she wasn't as chatty; I think it was because she knew I could hear her now. But it didn't matter, because I was already unconscious. She shook me awake a while later. The look on her face said it all. It was wet again with tears, and sadness emanated from her intelligent blue eyes. Her eyes just looked dead.

"I guess it didn't work," I whispered.

"I'm sorry," she cried.

"I don't understand! It wont work!"

"Captain, Plan B," I told her.

"No, Sir,"

"Sam!" Her face lit up slightly at my saying her name. "I'm dying, follow my order, please!" For a long moment, she looked at me.

"Yes, Sir," she put the radio in my hand, and got up and left. She started climbing.

"I always loved you, Samantha," I whispered, but she couldn't hear me anymore. I couldn't hear myself. It was like the desert, but this time, Samantha couldn't get me through it. For a while, the radio, then Sam's voice came through.

"Sir, I don't know if I'll ever reach the surface! It seems to just keep going!"

"Sam," I mumbled. "It was an honour serving with you!" And then, everything went black again, this time, I thought for good. I was aware of some things, like Sam's voice on occasion, and when she fell, and when she pulled herself closer to me.

"Sam,"

"I'm here, Jack,"

"Cold,"

"I know, it's alright, you can sleep now," she kissed my cheek, and fell asleep, and together, our worlds went black.

Is this heaven? I thought, feeling warm and fuzzy inside. The pain was gone. At last the pain was gone. This must have been heaven. Or not. The world around me started to come into focus. I could hear beeping, two sets of steady beeping. I could hear other electronic equipment buzzing. I wasn't dead, or in heaven. I was in a hospital. More specifically, the infirmary at the SGC. I could hear Fraiser's voice in the corridor.

"They both suffered severe frost bite, Colonel O'Neill's internal bleeding has subsided, and we are performing transfusions as often as necessary. Captain Carter did an excellent job with that splint, and his leg will heal fine," I smiled. I hoped they would tell Carter that. "I have no idea how Captain Carter got away from that with so little injuries. She's better off than Daniel was. And thank god for that. If she had been as badly hurt as Daniel, or worse, neither of them would have survived as long as they did."

"So they'll make a full recovery?" I heard General Hammond's voice waft into the room.

"Yes Sir, Although, both should be given some time off. I would like to keep them under my supervision in that time. Is there any where on base that they can stay once they are well enough to leave these beds?"

"We have several rooms. I will arrange it."

I was still bed ridden a week later when Sam came to see me. She had been released the day before, and had caught up with Daniel to find out exactly what had happened.

She sat down in the Chair beside my bed. I noticed for the first time that she had a huge scrape across her cheek, but otherwise looked happy and healthy. She slide her hand into mine and squeezed it.

"Sir, it's good to see you're okay," she whispered.

"Yeah," I replied, my head was fuzzy from the morphine that they were pumping me with while my rib healed. "So, what happened? The last thing I remember is... you... falling back down, I thought I was done for. Did you get the gate to work?"

"No, sir..."

"Cut out the Sir crap, would ya? We nearly died together on some god forsaken planet, for crying out loud. Hell, we even slept in the same sleeping bag to keep warm!"

"Er, well..."

"I give you full permission to call me Jack," I told her. I wanted to hear he say my name just once, as if it would prove to me that this was not a dream. She smiled.

"You remember how I told you there was no four? Not this time? Well turns out there was. It just was so unlikely that it didn't even occur to me! Four: There's a second Star Gate on earth. When the Gate on P4X-771 was hit with enough energy, the worm hole jumped to the nearest Star Gate, the second one on earth, which was situated in Antarctica,"

"Ice planet my ass, Sam!"

"Sorry, Sir... Jack, it seemed like the logical explanation at the time!" I smiled at her. I was right, hearing her say my name was all the medicine I needed. That's when I decided that she needed to know. I should have told her earlier, I had tried, but she couldn't hear me.

"Sam, can you check something for me?" I asked in an undertone.

"Sure," she furrowed her eyebrows curiously.

"Make sure no one can hear us," I told her. She got up and peered down the hall in both directions.

"There's no one there," she told me, "What did you want me to check for?"

"I wanted to tell you, I lied. I've lied for a really long time about this particular subject, and I can't keep it to myself anymore. The reason I lied is because, now especially, it could get me court marshalled, when I first spouted the lie, I'm not sure why I did it, I think it was because I was trying to convince myself that it could never work, I had given up for a reason and that..."

"Jack? I don't understand," I smiled, I opened my mouth to tell her the truth, that I loved her, but then, Hammond walked into the room. I quickly dropped Sam's hand, and turned my focus to Hammond.

"Jack, good to see your awake! You have one dedicated team, son!" Hammond boomed. He was smiling from ear to ear, oblivious that he had just walked in on my confession.

"Yes I do, Sir," I replied. "I know without Carter here, I would be long since dead,"

"Not only that. It was Teal'c who searched every planet between here and P4X-771, and Daniel who spent hours sitting in the briefing room, trying to solve this puzzle,"

"Never leave a man behind, that's how I run this team," I replied, hoping that he would leave. He smiled. That was when Teal'c walked in. There went my chance.

"Sir," Sam suddenly said, rising to her feet, "I have to get going, I wanted to take a look at few things," And she left. My heart sunk as she walked out of the room. When would I ever have the chance to tell her now?

"Jack, I better get going to, SG-5 is due back any minute,"

"Thanks for stopping by, Sir, always a pleasure, and thanks again for the rescue. I heard you came all the way down to the south pole to rescue us,"

"Anything for you, Jack," Hammond replied, and turned on his heel. No sooner was he out the door that the sirens started to blare. "Off world activation!" was being cried over the speakers by Harriman.

When the room was empty, I turned to Teal'c.

"Teal'c I'm glad you're here, I don't know who to talk to," I told him.

"Are you referring to the fact that you have feelings for Captain Carter that are forbidden on your world?"

"You know Teal'c, you are one observant son of a bitch," Teal'c raised his eye brow at me, then asked:

"Why are you and Captain Carter not permitted to have a relationship, when you both so clearly desire one?"

"Because... well, it's hard to explain..."

"It does not seem so complex to me, O'Neill. On Chulak, if two people have feelings for each other, they are encouraged to act on those emotions, not hide them,"

"Well, we can't all be like Chulak," I mumbled. "How long have you known?"

"Since I first laid eyes on the two of you. It became more obvious as we went on missions however. On Simarka, you went above and beyond to save Captain Carter. I even noticed your reaction when she emerged in the traditional attire for a woman on that planet. You harmed Daniel Jackson in her name when you were infected by that microbe. You were one of the last men on base to fall under Hathor's spell, and once you saw Captain Carter, I could see it in your eyes that you did not wish to harm her. You would have gone down to save her when we thought she would die along with Cassandra, you were furious when she went down on her own. You resented Narim for showing interest in her. It has been all too easy to see right through what many humans do not see,"

"And here I thought I was doing an okay job," I dropped my head back in the pillow.

"It would appear you are," Teal'c stated. I guessed he was right. If only Teal'c had noticed, then it wasn't so bad. I didn't think it would matter to anyone on base if they knew. However, it was not worth risking it this early in the game.

"If you say so,"

"Indeed," I rolled my eyes.

**A/N: I apologize that this chapter was significantly shorter than pervious chapters of late. However, I do hope that you were entertained by its content. You can expect an update within the next few hours, possibly regarding SG-1's first victory against Apophis, or perhaps the after math of that situation. I would greatly appreciate it if review and comments were made in regards to the pervious chapter. "Great Chapter" will not be sufficient. I would appreciate suggestions and comments regarding stylistic and other components of this story. Once again, I will request that you inform me of any changes you would enjoy seeing, such as Teal'c's point of view, or Daniel Jackson's, I'd even consider 's point of view, if that was requested. **

**... Wow... that was hard...never trying to talk like Teal'c again... that was an epic fail! Haha! INDEED!**

**I have no ownership rights to Star Gate SG-1... Indeed...**


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